


Rewrite the Stars

by Fosforesente



Category: David Duchovny - Fandom, Gillian Anderson - Fandom, The X-Files, gillovny - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2019-06-14 18:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15394797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fosforesente/pseuds/Fosforesente
Summary: Hi everybody, I want to begin by letting you know that English is not my first language and I am sorry if you find mistakes while reading.This is going to be my first fic ever and I am quite excited because I really like to write, and I am happy if I can share my ideas and hopefully you will enjoy it.I am basically writing this because of a song. I am quite obsessed with the movie “The Greatest Showman” and its soundtrack ever since I went to the cinema, and there is this song called “Rewrite the Stars”, that made me think a lot about Gillian and David. So, basically, this fic will “follow” the lyrics of the song. Zac Efron and Zendaya are the ones who sing the song, and the story will talk from David or Gillian’s point of view, all depending on who’s singing, him or her, or maybe both if it’s when they are singing together.So that’s it, I really hope you enjoy!





	1. You know I want you, it’s not a secret I try to hide

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody, I want to begin by letting you know that English is not my first language and I am sorry if you find mistakes while reading.
> 
> This is going to be my first fic ever and I am quite excited because I really like to write, and I am happy if I can share my ideas and hopefully you will enjoy it.
> 
> I am basically writing this because of a song. I am quite obsessed with the movie “The Greatest Showman” and its soundtrack ever since I went to the cinema, and there is this song called “Rewrite the Stars”, that made me think a lot about Gillian and David. So, basically, this fic will “follow” the lyrics of the song. Zac Efron and Zendaya are the ones who sing the song, and the story will talk from David or Gillian’s point of view, all depending on who’s singing, him or her, or maybe both if it’s when they are singing together.
> 
> So that’s it, I really hope you enjoy!

It’s been over nine months since the last time they saw each other. He is nervous, really nervous. He keeps cheeking his watch and the time seems not to pass. Someone knocks on his door and his heart seems to stop. He stands up from the bed of his hotel room, where he has been sitting, all dressed up and ready, for almost an hour now. He opens the door but it’s not her, just James.

“Oh, hey, what’s up” David says

“Oh, sorry pal, just came by to check if you were ready. Gillian is here, and we are ready to go.”

Probably his face changed when he heard her name. He gulped “I will be downstairs in a minute” and closed the door behind him before giving James the chance to give him an answer. Yes, he was nervous indeed. He went to the bathroom and checked himself on the mirror. Did he look ok? He really wanted to look ok for her. He took a deep breath and walked to the door.

He got to the hotel reception, but Gillian was nowhere to be seen. He got anxious, even more if possible. He walked around and finally he saw her, she was looking the other direction, but he knew her enough to recognize her from any angle, she was talking to someone. With no hesitation he began to walk to where she was standing and when he was getting closer heard her laughing, he didn’t know a most beautiful and perfect sound than her laugh. He couldn’t help himself but smile. David was about to reach her when someone put his hand on the small of her back, he stopped, there he was. “Fuck”, he whispered, and wanted to turn around but he ran into Monika “Hey David, so we are all here now, we will leave in a minute”. He smiled, “Hey Monika, whenever you told us to”.

When she heard his name, she turned around completely ignoring whoever she was talking to. He smiled at her and she was kind of paralyzed, Peter still with his hand on her back, and she gasped and said “hi”.

David hesitate, but decided to get closer. With a smile on his face he asked “Hey, how are you doing? You look… you look fantastic.” Gillian smiled and said, “Thank you” but before they could keep going on with their conversation a hand reached between them in David’s direction “Hey, it’s been a long time since we saw each other, how are you doing pal?”. That was Peter. Pal? “What the hell?” David thought. He politely shook his hand “I’m doing fine, how are you?”, Peter smiled at him and answered “yes, totally fine, we are really fine”.

“Hey guys, we are ready to go now”, that was Monika.

“Yep, let’s go” David answered and turned around to walk to the door, but not before glancing at Gillian. He could say she was feeling quite uncomfortable by the way she looked.

*****

They got to the convention centre in less than 20 minutes. They had time, but everybody seemed to be in a rush. David was walking next to James and Gillian, Peter and Monika were in front of them. When they reached the lounge that belonged to them for the day, they got inside, left a few things and Peter approached to Gillian to give her a quick kiss before herself and David left the room to get to the panel hall. He had to look the other way when they kissed, it hurt him.

Now, they both were walking next to each other but neither him or her dared to say a word. Charlie, the guy who was going to hold the panel came up to introduce himself “hi, nice to meet you guys, I am really excited”. Both smiled, “hey, nice to meet you too” said David shaking his hand. “same, nice to meet you, Charlie”, Gillian continued.

Monika came to call Charlie in the stage and he went up to introduce them both. Just before they went up, David took Gillian’s hand and smiled at her. She probably didn’t understand where this was coming from, but he felt she was more calmed after that. She smiled at him and hand in hand they both walked in the stage.

People went crazy when they appeared, and they were waving to the audience. They sat in a couch next to the armchair were Charlie was sat and David could say he was really excited by the way he was looking at them. “So, well, well, we have Mulder and Scully themselves in here today with us! I’m really happy to be your host today, and tell me, tell me, how it feels to still be sitting next to each other after 25 years?” Charlie was excited indeed. David and Gillian looked at each other and smiled, then Gillian began “exhausting” everybody laughed. “No, I feel really lucky to still be here, after soooo many years. I feel like The X Files gave us so much and we will always be connected to that”. David smiled to that answer and said “Yes, I agree with Gillian, I also feel really lucky to be here and to the response people keep having towards the show and us”. David realized they were still holding hands, but he really didn’t want to let go, and it didn’t seem like she wanted that either.

Charlie kept going with some other random questions and then asked the audience to ask them whatever they wanted. Questions about The X Files and their other projects where mostly what they got. But then, one girl got the mic “Hi, I’m really excited you are here today and I wanted to ask what is the thing you like the most about each other and what is the thing you miss the most about working with each other? Thank you".

David and Gillian looked at each other and they didn’t really know how to begin and both went to talk at the same time and stopped, then David told Gillian to keep going. “Well, that is a big question. Uhm…” She stopped and looked at him, then laughed “God, that is difficult having you in front of me.” He laughed and pretended to hide and that made her laugh. “Well, I really love your sense of humour, you are really funny and always make me have a ball whenever we are together.” They were looking each other in the eye and after a few seconds she looked again to the audience, that eye contact was maybe being too much. Then she continued “and that is also what I probably miss about working with David, the good moments we share together.” She looked at him again “And you are such a great listener and always there for me. So yes… that’s… that’s probably it”. She gave him a shy smile and looked forwards again. He couldn’t take his eyes out of her.

“Uhm… David?” Charlie said and took him out of his thoughts. “Yes, uhm, yes, I guess that’s my turn” David said. She wasn’t looking at him, but he kept staring at her “Well, uhm, what I like the most about you? That’s… that’s difficult to say.” He looked to the audience “Uhm, I like… I like Gillian’s spontaneity, she’s just hilarious and so funny as well. I like how committed she is to the work and how hardworking she is, she’s always there for you, doing everything just perfect, because she can’t do it other way, she is… quite perfect.” He then realized she was staring at him, but he couldn’t look back at her and continued “She’s one of the best co workers I have ever had and apart from that, we are really close and good friends and… and, well, I don’t know. I miss everything about working with her, even the cold nights, it’s always fun with her”. The audience went absolutely mad when he finished. He was looking forward as he didn’t there to look at her but could feel her staring at him.

*****

When the panel ended they both walked down the stage. Gillian was a few steps in front of him, the corridor was empty except for them and he speeded up to reach for her “You ok?”, he asked while still walking but she didn’t turn around or answered, “hey, Gillian, seriously, you ok?”, he reached her and grabbed her on the shoulder and then she turned around. “I am fine, David. I am fine”. He could hear a bit of resentment on her voice “Is it because something I said?”. She took a few seconds before answering to that and then looked at him “What was that all about? I mean… what are you trying to do or prove? We barely have spoken since the last time we saw each other and now… this?” He then felt bad. “Look, I didn’t say anything I don’t believe or think, and you know that, and after everything… is the less I can say”. She shook her head in disbelief and turned around to continue walking to the lounge where they would stay until they had to go to take some pictures, interviews and signing session.

David didn’t move and saw her walking away but then he thought he wasn’t going to shut up and let her go. Not again. “Gillian” he called her. “Gillian, please”. Then she turned around “What now?”. He got closer to her and grabbed her hand “Look, I am sorry. I am really sorry and I know I was an asshole… again. I shouldn’t have said anything I said but… God, Gillian, we have been through that already, I don’t want that again, I need you”. She closed her eyes and took a deep breathe and then she looked at him again “You hurt me, David. A lot. And I don’t know if I can go through this again”. She took another deep breath “We need to go, we have short time”.

He now let her go. He didn’t know how to make things right, but he knew he needed her.

*****

They had a really long and exhausting day. After their conversation in the corridor they were a bit cold with each other, but everything went quite well and he thanked the chemistry they had between each other and that could really be seen on the pictures they took and interviews they did together.

The whole crew had dinner together before going back to the hotel. Gillian didn’t look at him during the whole dinner, while he stared at her and Peter a few times. It hurt him not being the one sitting next to her, making her laugh.

They got back to the hotel past 11PM and everybody said goodnight to each other and went to their rooms. David took a shower and decided to go downstairs and get to the bar, nobody was waiting for him anyway, so he wasn’t in any rush to get into bed. He asked for a whisky on the rocks and felt quite like a loser. The woman he loved was upstairs being held but another man. He got a bit sick to his stomach by thinking about it.

He was drinking his third whisky when he felt the presence of someone sitting next to him, “what are you doing here all by yourself at this time of the night?”. He looked at her and couldn’t help himself but smile and then look again to his glass “I am drinking as you can tell… and thinking”. She grabbed his hand “And what are you thinking about?” He didn’t answer “David… look at me” He sighted and obeyed “Guess”. She got closer to him “Look, I am not mad… it’s just… shocking I guess after so many months. I know you said what you think and feel, I know and I’m so grateful. But David… You know I can’t”. Her voice was shaking a bit “I know you are not alone, but I also know that hasn’t stopped us before… and I know, I know, I am sorry. But God, Gillian, you know I want you more than anything and I was willing to give it a try. We have been through this before, it was never a “serious” thing but it was our thing and we weren’t that bad at it”. She caressed his cheek “I know we weren’t… we were actually really great together… but that is in the past”. He moved away from her and had to hold back his tears “Gillian, it’s late, go back to bed”. Without letting her say a thing, he stood up from the stool he was sat on and made his way to the door. She stayed there, probably looking at him walking away. He was really hoping for her to run after him, but he knew she wouldn’t do it, not tonight.


	2. I know you want me, so don’t keep saying your hands are tied

_“Gillian, please, listen to me, we can go through this, we can make it through. God, I don’t want to leave you. Not again” He sounded a bit desperate._

_“David, for God’s sake, this is not going to work, I live in London, have three kids, you live here and have your own children as well. We can’t just pack our stuff and move across an ocean for good leaving our lives behind”. She was hurting him by saying that, but he wasn’t willing to back off “Look, I am not asking anybody to move to another continent, I am saying that we can still give it a try, we have been through this before, we have make it work before. Why not now?”_

_“David, listen to me, it’s not that easy and not the same… we have changed”_

_“The fuck we have changed? What are you talking about?” He stopped for a second “Look, maybe yes, maybe we have changed, but my feelings still the same for you”._

_He could tell she was holding her tears back, but so was he “Don’t play this game with me, for God’s sake you know enough how I feel about you and that is something that I have tried to fight back for such a long time but there we are, twenty-five years later, having kind of the same conversation”. She wasn’t backing off either._

_“Gillian, I am not getting you. I am not asking you to marry me, I am just asking for something more than casual sex, texts and calls every few days… I want more, I need more. I want the whole thing. And I know I can’t have it… at least not now, but I need to get into bed at night knowing the woman I… you know, is there. Maybe not… maybe not there, there, but she’s there”._

_Gillian sighed “And we say we are together and what? We have crazy work schedules, we make it work for a couple of month, maybe three, maybe four, maybe even a year crossing an ocean at least once per month and then you got a job and can’t make it to London one month, and the following one I get another job and I can’t make it either to the States for God knows how long, we fight about not seeing each other and then we decide to split up and what? We don’t see each other, there is no way we talk, end of everything? Is that what you want?”_

_David looked at her_ _and let go a taunt laugh “No, definitely not what I want. But Gillian… listen to me, it’s just a step forward from what we have now.” He was trying to find her sight, but she wasn’t really daring to look at him. He placed his hand on her shoulders “Gillian, look at me”. She shook her head. “Gillian, please, look at me” She finally lifted her face to look right into his eyes, her eyes were full of tears and he gave her a sweet smile and lifted his hands to dry her tears with his thumbs. He sighed and continued “I don’t want to force you, but please, please, think about it”._

_She looked at him right into his eyes “David, I can’t. I am sorry, I just… I just can’t.” He let go of her and assent his head biting the inside of his inferior lip. Then he turned around and walked towards the door of her hotel room. “David, wait… please, wait”._

_“Look, you can’t do this and I can’t either.” He looked at his watch. “Go, you are going to miss your flight.” He really didn’t want to leave her but he couldn’t stand the fact that maybe he wouldn’t see her in a long time and the next time they meet they would be friends, yes, but just friends. He was cursing all distances and oceans inside his head and before opening the door he took a step backwards and looked at her. He now was frustrated “Please, don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t even try to contact me. You can’t do this, I can’t play the friend part.”_

_Gillian looked at him probably without knowing what to say “David, David, no. Fuck! Don’t do that to me.” She sounded a bit angry and frustrated as well._

_He know was angry too, “Don’t do that to me? Fuck off, Gillian. I don’t understand your game. We made love last night and now you decide you can’t do this anymore, you could have said that before calling me into your bed. You didn’t seem to be having that bad of a time last night” He regretted saying that instantly. He closed his eyes and then looked at her again lifting his hands like he was trying to apology “Fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean…”_

_Gillian stood up from the bed, where she was sitting on “Get the fuck out of here.”_

_“Gill…”_

_“Get the fuck out of here, now.”_

_David looked at her and took a deep breath before opening the door and leaving her in that hotel room._

_He didn’t know when he was going to see her again, but he was regretting every single word he said. He wondered if she was feeling as bad as him. The problem also was that they both were stubborn as hell and when they used to fight back in the 90’s it could take weeks before they re-establish their relationship, even though they were seeing each other every single day._

*****

David woke up in his hotel room with a girl next to him. He didn’t remember much about last night, but after his conversation with Gillian in the hotel bar, he decided it was a great idea to go to some other bar and drink until pass out. He remembers getting back to his room with a girl, but not much more. Fuck… what was he doing or thinking about? He stood up from the bed and made his way to the shower. When he came out, the girl was already awake and dressed up.

“Oh, hey, sorry, I was about to leave” She said

“Ok” He answered

“Uhm… well… it was… nice meeting you, David”

“Same… well, see you around maybe.”

She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and left the room. He didn’t even know her name, but little he cared. He wondered again what the hell was he thinking about. He then noticed that the girl left her phone number wrote down on a paper on his bedside table. He took it and looked at it, poor thing, he thought and even felt worse.

David checked his watch, 8:14 AM, he had time before meeting with the crew. Gillian and himself had a couple of interviews and photoshoots planned for the day before leaving Los Angeles. He was happy they were going to spend the whole day together and at the same time was nervous. He got ready and went downstairs to get something to eat.

When he entered the restaurant, he saw her and Peter, eating their breakfast in a table on a corner of the room. He sighted and for a moment he wished he could disappear, but instead he walked inside and meet Lily who was serving herself a cup of coffee and walked towards her.

“Good morning sunshine” she said

“Hey, Lily, good morning!” he smiled at her

“Have you seen James? I don’t know if he had already had breakfast or he’s still sleeping.”

“You know him, tends to be late” both laughed and then David served himself a cup of coffee as well and took a plate with a few things to eat and went with Lily to a table. He didn’t know if Gillian noticed him, but he didn’t want to look into her direction.

He clearly remembered when he found out about Gillian dating that guy. Someone sent him a couple of pictures of them both short after their fight. He didn’t want to worry at first but then all these headlines came out and he was really pissed off, not because she was dating someone, but because that someone wasn’t him. He really wanted to talk to her back then but knew if he did so maybe it would be much worst than how they ended up the last time they saw each other.

After a couple of month, he got a text from her asking some shit about an interview they did month ago and just been published. He answered her and they both talked for a short while. It was a random talk about how they were doing and not much more, even though he was dying to ask about that guy and over all he wanted to say sorry, but to be honest, it felt so empty to do it through a text. It was a quite formal conversation and after that they exchanged a couple of messages until they met again yesterday.

He couldn’t lie, every time he saw her with Peter, his heart broke a bit more, but seeing them in front of him it was a whole new level of pain and frustration.

“So, when are you staring your European tour and where?” Lily took him out of his thoughts.

“Yes… well, we start in January but we need to sign some contracts and we don’t really know where we will begin, but it will probably be Germany or Denmark” He answered

“Oh, that is awesome. I was talking to James and we are definitely flying somewhere to see you, last time we saw you in concert was really good fun. Specially when you put James into the stage, that was hilarious” They both laughed remembering that.

Monika and James walked into the restaurant then and approach them

“Hey guys, we will be leaving soon.” James said

“Oh, I thought you slept over” Lily said laughing a bit

"So funny" James grinned and made a despicable face “We had breakfast earlier and went for a walk”

“Oh, now you take walks, that’s new” David laughed

“Ok, enough messing with me. Where is Gillian?”

“Oh, I think I saw her when I walked in here” He knew where she was sitting, what was she wearing and with who she was. Didn’t want to accept it though? Probably

“Oh, I see her” Monika said and went to talk with her and tell her they were going to leave soon.

David watched them talk from the side of his eyes and Lily noticed he was looking at her.

“Hey, how are you two doing?”

David got a bit nervous to that question “Uhm… we… we are fine. We are friends”

“Yes… sure”

“Hey, what do you mean? But “yes, sure”?” David rouge asked

“No… nothing. You are just friends, right?”

“Yes, just that.” His tone was serious now.

“Ok, sorry… didn’t mean to bother you by asking”

Before he could give her an answer, Monika came back with Gillian and Peter and ready to go.

“Morning” Peter said with a smile on his face

“Good morning” David and Lily answered

They all then moved to the hall to meet James, who went there before to ask for the cars to pick them up.

David stared at Gillian and Peter saying goodbye to each other. Wasn’t he coming? He thought, not that he wanted him around or anything but… whatever. He looked the other direction when they kissed each other and made his way to the car.

*****

It had been a long day. They had two interviews in the morning, in two different places. Then they had lunch on their way to where they were taking a photoshoot. And after that they had to move to even another place for a second photoshoot. They could have done everything in two days instead of one, but decided it was better to go over with it as Gillian needed to be back in London for her theatre rehearsals.

It was always fun working and being around that team and specially it felt really good to be around her for so many hours. They didn’t talk that much during the day, but he was happy enough, no tension, no fighting, just laughs and a nice time with… a friend.

Monika, Lily and James decided to go grab something to eat before going back to the hotel. It was past 8:30 PM and both, Gillian and him, were exhausted and decided to go straight back to the hotel instead.

They shared a taxi and at first it felt a bit weird, it was actually the first time they were totally alone since their conversation in the bar the night before. Finally, David decided to break the ice.

“So… at which time are you taking your flight tomorrow morning?”

He surprised her, maybe she wasn’t expecting he was going to say anything at all but she was probably thankful he did “Uhm… I think we are flying at 3 PM”

“Oh, so you have a bit of time in the morning. Do some shopping maybe?”

She smiled, he knew her well “Yes, probably” She then looked at him “What about you? Are you staying in LA or going back to New York tomorrow?”

“I am indeed staying for a couple more days here, need to sort out a few things for the new tour before going back home”

“Sometimes I forget you sing” She smiled “I hope you invite me to the stage again… or maybe you thought I was way too terrible to even sing from the audience”

He laughed “No way I could think that. I would actually be honoured if you sang with me again”

“Well, I mean, if you insist… I guess I will think about it then”

Both laughed. They were now looking into each other eyes and the laugh faded. He could feel his heart beating fast, he wanted to kiss her right here, right now, those lips… how much he miss that lips. But the taxi driver took him out of his dreams

“Here we are. It will be 32$”

Gillian looked then away and took his purse, but David put his hand over her hand “Don’t worry, I got this” and gave his credit card to the driver.

Gillian rolled her eyes “We could share the cost at least”

David laughed and instinctively took her hand and helped her out of the car.

“Thank you” she said.

They both walked in silence inside the hotel and made their way to the elevator.

“Which floor are you at?” She asked

“Nine, you?”

“Same” and she pressed the “nine” bottom.

They were alone, both leaning in the wall of the elevator. They weren’t saying a thing and both staring at the door. His heart was beating faster and faster. “Fuck it all” he said and she looked at him surprised by his words, but before she could react in any way, he had put his hands on the back of her thighs and lifted her up against the wall and was fiercely kissing her.

Her first reaction was to back off. His heart stopped and he stared at her with a worried look. Fuck, maybe he indeed fucked it all. They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity but then she said “Yes, fuck it all” and kissed him back with the same passion he did before. God, how much he had missed her kisses, touching her, everything.

They heard the bell of the elevator indicating they reached their floor. Instinctively, he putted her down. And thank God he did. When the doors opened, Peter was there.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t know when you were coming back and I was about to call you because I didn’t know if to ask room service or go somewhere to have dinner.” Peter said smiling at Gillian and then noticed David “Oh, sorry, hey David”.

“Hey” He nervously said

Gillian’s hair was messy, her lips looked a bit swollen from the kissing. She gave a quick, worried and nervous peek at David before saying anything “Uhm… maybe… maybe better staying here and asking for some… uhm, yes, some room service” She sounded really nervous he thought. But couldn’t blame her, he was nervous himself.

They both stepped out of the elevator.

“Ok, then, I am going to check what they have and we can order” Peter said

“Sure. I will catch you up in a minute” She answered

“Oh… oh, ok” Peter seemed to get the message and made his way to their room. Didn’t he notice anything? He thought… He probably did.

“I am sorry. I didn’t…” She said

“You didn’t…. what?” David asked with a fussy tone

“David, please, don’t play that with me. Look, I am sorry, that… that shouldn’t have happened”

“Gillian, fuck off, you wanted that as much as I did.”

She didn’t answer to that

“Gillian, please, look at me. Look at me and tell me you don’t want me, and then… then I promise I will go for good.”

She still didn’t answer and he put his hand in her chin to lift her face up so she was looking at him. She took a deep breathe before answering “I’m sorry David, Peter… Peter is waiting for me” She freed herself and caressed his chest while turning around to walk away to her room.

“You still didn’t say you don’t want me.”

She didn’t answer and he stayed there looking at her walking away.


	3. You claim it’s not in the cards and fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me

He checked his phone. No messages. What was he exactly expecting? He then checked the time, 6:23 AM. He didn’t sleep almost at all and thought there was no point on staying in the bed any longer. He took a shower and got dressed, then packed his little suitcase and even made the bed, needing something to distract himself. Finally, he took his wallet, key of the room, phone and left.

The day before, they went past a bakery on their way back from the last photoshoot. It was quite early, but he decided to try and see If it was open and maybe grab a coffee and something to eat.

Reached the bakery and bingo, it was open.

“Morning” said a voice coming from behind the counter

“Hey, good morning” David answered looking at the board deciding what to order

“How can I help you?”

“Can I get a latte and… do you have scones by any chance?” He said

“Are you British?” She asked

“Why are you asking?”

“Scones are quite of a British thing I believe…” She said smiling

“Oh… no, no, I am… I am American, but my… I have a friend, she is... well, she lives there, and she was the one who made me try them and… well, are nice” That was a weird conversation

“Well, then it’s your lucky day. We have scones, but just plain ones”

“Then I will take one of those, thank you”

He left the bakery with his coffee and scone and went to a park near there. Why everything reminded him something about her? Well, like he could stop thinking of her at all… that kiss. THAT kiss, the main reason he didn’t sleep all night. God, how he could have missed her so much? But being honest, he didn’t realize how much until yesterday. Fuck, he really wanted to kiss her again. Feel her again, touch her, make her laugh… he really wanted her, and he knew she wanted him as well. That kiss. How she kissed him back. God, he needed to stop, his mind needed to stop.

He sat in a bench while eating his breakfast and stared at the morning people, some running, some other walking their dogs. He felt sorry for himself.

*****

It was past 9:30 AM when he went back to the hotel and decided to grab his stuff and check out. He was going to send a message to the group chat they shared with Monika, James, Lily and Gillian. He never said a thing in there, Monika created it before meeting for these days just in case they had to share any kind of information. But now he wanted to write to ask if they were awake and could see them to say goodbye before leaving. He knew Gillian was leaving to London in the evening and the other three were going back to New York at some point during the day, but he was staying a couple days longer in Los Angeles to arrange a few things about his tour.

Monika answered after a couple of minutes saying she would be downstairs in a minute. James and Lily asked him to wait a bit longer, they wanted to see him as well. Gillian never answered but he checked and saw she got and read the message already. He wasn’t piss, but desperately wanted to see her. God knows when they were going to see each other again.

After a few minutes Monika appeared in the hotel reception and short after Lily and James came over. They looked quite… bad.

“Hangover?” David asked mocking

“Don’t even ask” Lily said approaching to give him a hug and made everybody laugh

“So, guys, it’s been a pleasure seeing and working with you all again” David pretended to start crying and made them laugh

“You idiot” James said still laughing

“No, seriously, thanks for everything and well, I hope to see you again soon!” David hugged everybody and said goodbye. They were going to have breakfast before leaving.

David was taking his bag from the floor and Lily stopped him before he could leave “Are you going to leave like that? Without saying goodbye to Gillian?”

“Lily, seriously… we are just friends, we are fine, I sent a message, she maybe didn’t get it or is already gone, who knows” David said, trying to sound like he didn’t care

“You know her, she never leaves without saying goodbye” She looked at him with judging eyes

“Goodbye Lily, I will see you around”

“Fine” She mocked “See you soon!” She gave him another hug and left to join James and Monika

He checked his phone, nothing, then hesitate on writing another message or even call her but decided that maybe it wasn’t the best idea. It hurt him not seeing her. He just wanted to say goodbye, but maybe that way would be easier for both. Maybe it sounded stupid, but he felt quite lost.

*****

He was already on the taxi on his way to Beverly Hills, he was going to meet with a couple of producers in there. It was still early, but he didn’t mind waiting. He then checked his phone and saw a message from Gillian. His heart stopped. It said _“Hey, sorry, where are you?”_. He hesitated before answering but then began to type _“Already on my way to Beverly Hills. Thought you were gone already”_. Not even a minute passed, and he got another text, _“I really wanted to see you before leaving”_. God, this woman was going to drive him crazy.

“Excuse me, could we go back to the hotel? I forgot something” David asked to the taxi driver.

“Sure, sir” the guy politely said

“Thank you”

And then David typed again _“Don’t go. On my way”_. He sent it but not got a reply. Did she regret saying she wanted to see him? He didn’t know, but he was sure happy she did so. Who was he trying to lie to by leaving without even saying a simple “goodbye”, pretending everything was ok. He was going nuts. This woman was making him go nuts.

David was back at the door of the hotel after 15 minutes. She wasn’t there. He didn’t know if call her, wait or what to do, but it wasn’t necessary, as he saw her walking through the doors. Maybe she saw him from inside? He didn’t know, and didn’t care either, she was there.

“Hey, let’s go over there” Gillian grabbed him from the arm and walked away from the hotel entrance.

He didn’t say anything, just walked next to her. They were a bit far away now from the hotel and entered a park to avoid people. They sat in a bench and she turned to look directly at him.

“David, listen to me and please, let me talk” She asked, more begged, and he just nodded “I couldn’t sleep yesterday because I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened, our… whatever, you know what happened. I… I… look, I don’t regret it, we shouldn’t have done that, but I don’t regret it. But that’s it. I am with Peter, God he is a nice guy, I don’t want to do this to him”

“You are with Peter, right. But you don’t regret it. Ok” He said with what could be interpreted as an ironic tone. And he knew she asked him to stay silent, but he couldn’t help it

“No, fuck, listen to me. I… God, this is hard. It is just so difficult for me to be around you and not… it’s…” She seemed not to know how to keep going but she did “I am going to go now. I am going back to London. We have tried that, it didn’t work, and you know it didn’t and… I have a life in there and…”

“Gillian, I think you don’t even know what you want to say. I didn’t ask you anything. We kissed. Yes, we kissed.” He emphasised that “You can’t even verbalize it. I didn’t sleep either because I couldn’t take out of my mind how amazing it felt to kiss you again, how much I missed it… how much I missed you.”

She was looking to her hands now and sighted before saying anything else and looking back at him “David, maybe it’s fate, maybe we are not meant to be”

“Fate? Fate my ass. We are meant to be, and you know that. You fucking know how great we are together. You can go away, we can be miles and miles apart from each other, but you know as much as I do that this doesn’t change anything, because when we are together look what happens. We freaking shine.” David held her hands at some point while saying that

“Sometimes it’s not up to us”

“Yes, Gillian, it is up to us who we decide to be happy with.”

She didn’t answer to that. He was staring at her hoping for some kind of reaction, but nothing happened, and he continued “You didn’t answer yesterday. You didn’t say you don’t want me.”

“David… Seriously, I love Peter and I don’t want to hurt him”

“And I may believe so… but you still haven’t answered”

She now was looking at him with what seemed impotence and maybe sadness. “I don’t want you”

“Why I can’t believe it?”

She grabbed his arm and looked into his eyes “I – don’t – want” she paused and bite her inner lip “You. I don’t”

“Then I guess… I won’t bother you anymore”

She looked surprised now and her breathe accelerate “What do you mean?”

“You say you don’t want me. That means that’s it for us… right? We don’t see each other again and if we do… we are going to be friends as you asked for the last time.”

“Yes… I guess so” She answered

“Let me do something… just in case we don’t see each other again or… whatever”

He could see she was nervous now.

“Let me apologize.” She wasn’t expecting that, at least her face showed so “For all the shit I told you the last time, and God knows I didn’t mean.” He took a deep breathe before carrying on “You have been… God, Gill, one of the greatest things that ever happened to me and I wouldn’t change a day. And maybe… maybe that’s truly it. We have been through this “this is the end” thing other times. But you never know if this is going to be it. It’s not like before, we used to almost live together in set, spending more time together than with anybody else. But now… we have an ocean between us, totally different lives and goals. It’s clearly not the same.” He was getting really nervous and had a great mix of feelings inside of him “I really wanted to say sorry for so, so many months, but I didn’t want to do it through a phone.”

She seemed astonished by his confession “thank… thank you for saying that and… I am sorry too. I said things I also regret.”

He wanted to say a hundred of things more, but he didn’t know how to put anything else into words. She stood up from the bench they were sitting and took a deep breathe.

“I need to go now”

He stood up in front of her “One last thing” He looked at her and put his hands in her cheeks and looked at her blue eyes, he never saw such beautiful eyes. “Allow me to give you one last kiss” She looked at him with what he perceived as… love? Sadness? Pity?

“David…” she looked down.

He nodded. Forcing her would be the last thing he would do. He caressed her cheeks and let her go.

They walked back to the hotel, in silence, he could have grabbed a taxi nearer the park, but he didn’t want to say goodbye.

They reached the corner of the street where the hotel was, and he told her he preferred not to go back as he already said goodbye to the others and maybe it was better if they (and by they, he meant Peter) didn’t see them. He didn’t want to cause her any trouble.

He stopped a taxi.

“Well, so… Gill, I… I hope I will see you again at some point” He was stuttering a bit

She looked at him and her eyes filled with tears “I don’t know what the hell are we doing”

“Me neither, but… here we are”

She leaned forwards to hug him, breathe him in and feel him. He responded by wrapping his arms around her. Then she looked up and he looked down to her, they were so close but he didn’t want to move, he was afraid to. They were looking into each other eyes and all he wanted was to freeze that moment and stay there forever. He wasn't expecting what came next, she got in her tiptoes and gave him a kiss. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was full of what he perceived as love. He held her tighter and after a few seconds she let go of him and both leaned into each other’s forehead.

“Thank you” he said

“Always” she answered

He got inside the taxi, that had been waiting for him, and probably the taxi driver was enjoying the scene. They both waved at each other.

He left out a breath that he had been holding since they met and showed a little smile. Maybe that wasn’t a goodbye after all, because he now knew she lied.


	4. But you are here in my heart, so who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny?

_He was holding himself with an elbow supported on the bed and his other hand was tickling her bare back. He had been awake for a while but didn’t want to wake her up yet. She was facing him and looked so calm and he thought could stare at her for hours, days, month and never get tired. Her skin was so soft under his fingers. He brought his hand up from her back to take some strands of her hair out of her beautiful face to appreciate her even more._

_After a few minutes having him scratching and tickling her back, a shy smile appeared on her face._

_“Hey…” She said with a sleepy voice and barely opening her eyes_

_“Good morning, sleepy beauty” He said with a big smile on her face_

_“Have you been awake for long?”_

_“Not really… but don’t worry, I was enjoying the views” he said in a rogue tone_

_She giggled and then turned around to face him and managed to open her eyes “come here”, asked to him, stretching her arms to put them around his neck. He didn’t hesitate and got closer to her and leaned down to kiss her. Then, he rolled over her and she opened her legs, so he could adjust himself._

_They weren’t saying anything, just looking into each other eyes, smiling. She was caressing the back of his neck while he was caressing her cheeks. What an intimate, precious and perfect moment, he thought._

_“Thank you” He then said breaking their silence_

_“What do you mean with that?” She asked probably not understanding where that was coming from_

_“For letting me spend this night with you”_

_“Oh, big guy, the pleasure was mine” She said giggling and making him laugh_

_“No, seriously.” He wasn’t laughing anymore and said it with a more serious tone and probably she took him seriously as his face changed as well_

_“Hey, David, I am not going anywhere” She then said bringing her hands to his face and caressing his cheeks._

_He then leaned a bit forward and she lifted herself a bit to reach his lips and melt in the sweetest of kisses._

*****

He woke up. Didn’t even know which day or time it was. He landed in New York late last night and even though the time difference was only two hours he was feeling a bit of jet lag.

He dreamt about the last morning they spent together before their fight… also their last fight until the day. Gosh, he even missed fighting with her. How the hell did they ruined everything in just few hours? They were absolutely fine and then they began to argue because he asked her more and she said she didn’t want it. They argue about how far they lived, their different lives, goals and a long list of what now seemed like stupid things to him. Why couldn’t he just be happy with the casual sex every time they met? Things would maybe still be ok between them, he felt so stupid.

He checked his bedside table clock, 2:47 PM. Fuck, for how long he slept? Then he went to check his phone, but it was out of battery so he plugged it in, and went to the shower.

He took his time on the shower, he didn’t know how he felt after the few days he spent in Los Angeles. He didn’t know what to do next. They kissed just before saying goodbye, and it was her who kissed him, but he was telling him just before that she wasn’t leaving Peter and that she loved him. He really didn’t understand a thing.

He got dressed, made his bed and unpack the few things he had inside his suitcase. Then he went to turn on his phone and when he did his heart stopped. He had two missed calls from Gillian and one message. His heart was beating fast now, and his head was about to explode.

He got the missed calls around 8 AM, 1 PM Gillian’s time, and the text was from a couple of hours later. It said, “ _You ok?_ ”. He didn’t really know what to answer, was he ok? No, of course he wasn’t. Did she only wanted to talk with him to know if he was ok? She was making him go nuts.

He stared at his phone for a while and then decided to give her an answer “ _Yes_. You?” Now he was nervous. He checked the time, almost 4 PM, so 9 PM in London. He wanted to call her instead of waiting for an answer, but what if he was with Peter or her kids? It would be probably weird, but the ring tone took him out of his thoughts and he saw her name on the phone screen. “Fuck”, he said to himself and first hesitate, but he had to answer.

“Hello?” she said from the other side of the phone

He didn’t answer at first.

“Hello? David, you there?” She insisted

“Yes, hi” he then said “Everything ok? My phone run out of battery and I woke up not so long ago, yesterday was such a long day”

“Yes, ok… it’s ok. Sorry I called you, I just wanted to make sure you were ok after what happened the other day”

“Just checking on me, uhm?” He said with what could be interpreted as a judging tone

“Hey, David… I am really sorry, I don’t want to hurt you or anybody” She sounded worried and nervous

“Well, Gill… I believe you made your choice and that is why you are now in London”

“You keep calling me Gill.” He could feel her smile from the way she said this.

“What?” He said not understanding a thing and where this conversation was leading to

“That you are one of the few people who call me “Gill” and it’s… sweet”

“Gillian, seriously, you are driving me crazy. What the hell do you want?” He now was using a serious tone

“I don’t know.” She stopped to take a deep breathe “I guess I just wanted to make sure you were ok”

“So, you can clean your mind and sleep well at night time… next to Peter?” He probably was going to regret saying that

“David, seriously, I was just calling to check on you and say… I was sorry, I guess. But if you have to get into that asshole mood I rather call you in another time” She now used a serious tone herself

“No… I am sorry. But Gill, I can’t play that game. You know how I feel about you, you know that if you were up to it I would fucking go swimming if necessary to find you because...” He paused to see if she said anything but as she didn’t he continued “And you know what I feel about us, and I always felt I am unstoppable, that I can do the fuck I want to do. But then you come and tell me that this is a no-thing. Well, sorry if I keep thinking you are my destiny.” He was proud of himself for saying that, no David, no time to brag about the poet you have inside, he then thought

She didn’t say a thing.

“You told me you didn’t want me but then kissed me. I am sorry if my mind doesn’t understand your game. You are a difficult one, girl…” He tried to make her laugh. But no reaction was heard. He wasn’t mad at all, not anymore, but he was just so confused and desperately wanted to know how to make her see that they were really the real deal… “Maybe it’s just me, maybe you don’t really want anything to do with me anymore, but your body and actions never show me that… and that is why I still here, craving and holding to whatever I can and… until I see something that really tells me the contrary, I will probably still be ready to swim across an ocean”

He heard a low sob and her taking a deep breathe

“I just wanted to know you were ok”

And then she hanged up.

David was now sitting on his bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe. What was he supposed to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than the other ones, but I think it was ok to do it this way. I hope you are enjoying it and thank you for the nice comments! x


	5. What if we rewrite the stars?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if we rewrite the stars?  
> Say you were made to be mine  
> Nothing could keep us apart  
> You'd be the one I was meant to find  
> It's up to you, and it's up to me  
> No one can say what we get to be  
> So why don't we rewrite the stars?  
> Maybe the world could be ours  
> Tonight

They haven’t seen each other, either spoke in over seven months. He read on the internet her play was a total hit and he was proud but also regretted not going to see her. He now was on his way to London, the world premiere of a movie he was in was being held in there as the director and many of the actors were British.

Would she know he was going to the city? Should he have told her? Should he call her now? He had many questions running around his head and just 30 minutes before landing. He didn’t need to call her straight after landing, but he desperately wanted to, and he was only staying in the city for four days, so he really didn’t have that much of time.

He recreated their last phone call in his head many, many times. Maybe he went way too far? He was tired of playing and just needed to get everything out of his chest. He didn’t dare to call her or text her anymore but waited for her to do so. But now, though, he was on the city she lived and felt the urgent need to do so. Not that he didn’t before, but now they didn’t have an ocean between them.

The 30 minutes went pass fast. The moment they landed he felt his stomach clench in nerves. He took a deep breathe and let it go slowly and waited for the belt lights went off to stand up. He was lucky enough to be in aisle sit so he could take his things quite fast and get off of the plane as soon as people started moving. He came with Lily and James, he loved working with them and was lucky to run into them in that project as well.

When they finally got off the plane and passed all the controls, they headed the way out to take a taxi who would bring them to the airport. It didn’t take long to find one.

“God, I need a bed” – James said

“I am shattered. What time is it New York?” Lily asked

James checked his phone “It’s 2 AM in New York… so 7 AM here.” Then he stopped to think “God, I was trying to figure out how many hours have I been awake for, but I give up”

Lily chuckled “God, we really need to sleep” Then she noticed David was quite absent, looking through the window “Everything ok?” She said touching his arm.

“Eh? Yes. I’m… I’m fine” He said turning his look to see Lily

Lily and James had a silly conversation about the queen and squirrels. But he wasn’t paying attention and either said anything else for the rest of the ride. His mind was somewhere else.

When they arrived at the hotel, they checked in and quickly he made his way to his room without barely saying anything to Lily and James. She had a concerned look on her face but didn’t say anything as she probably knew what was going on through his mind.

David got into his room, left his things in the floor and laid down in the size king bed facing the ceiling. He turned on his phone and checked his email and texts. Of course, nothing was there to be found. Nothing he was expecting at least. He checked the time, almost 8 AM. He really wanted to let her know he was in London. He needed to see her, they had a pending conversation.

He scrolled down on his screen to find his conversation with Gillian. He didn’t know what to type. After a few minutes of thinking he began to type “ _Hey, how are you doing? I hope you still follow me on Twitter, but I don’t know if you saw I was coming to London for a premiere… Well, I am here now, and I was wondering if there was a possibility of maybe… catching up? Hope you are fine, David_ ” He reread it many times and changed a few things, and after hesitating again for a while he sent it.

His anxiety was growing, and he was checking his phone every minute. Lily and James were probably slept by then, he thought, but was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep, even though being tired. He decided then to get to the shower, he needed something to clear his mind at least a little bit before 2 PM, when they were meeting with the crew for some interviews before the premiere, which was the following day.

He got out of the shower and almost run to check his phone, but nothing. He was disappointed, sad, anxious and a bunch of other feelings.

*****

It was almost time to leave the hotel and he was all ready downstairs waiting for Lily and James. Still no news from Gillian. He first thought she maybe would be working, but didn’t she look at her phone for a whole day, when she was the kind of person who loved to take pictures and videos of absolutely everything? The conclusion he was trying to avoid but at the same time still the only he could get to was that she didn’t want to know anything about him and that hurt like hell.

Short after, Lily and James appeared.

“You ready, Mr.Duchovny?” Said James mocking him

He smirked "as ready as I could be"

“Guys, the car is here, and we should be going” Lily then added

The three of them walked outside the hotel to get into the black Mercedes waiting for them in the door and would bring them to the studio where David and some other actors from the movie alongside with the director, would do some interviews and a photoshoot.

He checked his phone one last time before saving it for the evening on his pocket.

*****

He got back to the hotel past 7 PM. Lily and James went out for dinner, but he wasn’t really feeling in the mood. They had a fun evening and it was nice to see everybody again, but he wasn’t really in the mood for anything, plus he was so tired.

David entered his room, took off his jacket and left it in a chair that he found on the way to the bed. He sat in a corner of it and sighed before turning on his phone again. He waited a couple minutes before it reacted, and some messages began to appear on his screen. He left his phone in his side to let it get all the messages he missed during the evening and used the time to take off his shoes.

Now, he looked at his phone. He scrolled down his screen until he found what he was looking for. There it was. A message from her. He could feel his heart beating like it was going to jump out of his chest. He could only read the first words “ _Hey, David! It’s always so ni..._ ” What if she said she didn’t want to see him? What if she perhaps was out of town? He didn’t consider that before, but it was a possibility. What if, what If, what if. “Ok, stop” he said to himself and pressed the screen to open the message.

“ _Hey David! It’s always so nice to hear about you. I didn’t know you were in London. I am really sorry I didn’t text or call after our last conversation… Maybe yes, maybe we could meet. When are you free? x G”_

There was another text.

“ _Oh, and by the way, I still follow you on Twitter. x G_ ”

He reread the messages around ten times and laughed at the second one. Ok… ok. She wanted to see him. When was he free? Right now. Was it a good moment? God, now he really couldn’t wait to see her.

He replayed without thinking any further “ _I am free right now._ ” He sent it right away but thought about it and typed another message “ _Well, sorry, I guess you may be busy… tomorrow is premiere day so I will be pretty busy. I am here until Thursday evening and I have nothing to do on Wednesday_ ”. He sent that one as well.

Gillian’s messages where from a couple of hours ago. But it didn’t take long to get an answer to the last ones he sent.

“ _Mark has the kids and Piper is in Vancouver. Do you want to meet around Notting Hill?_ ”

Yes, absolutely, he wanted to meet her and would go wherever she asked him too. He answered right away “ _Give me 1 hour and a place to meet and I will be there_ ”.

“ _Then let’s meet at “Beach Blanket Babylon”, I will be inside waiting_ ” That was her answer

He didn’t know where it was, but he couldn’t care less, he was sure the taxi driver would know it.

He took a quick shower, got dressed in a black t-shirt, dark blue jeans, black trainers and his leather black jacket. When he checked himself on the mirror reminded a bit of Hank Moody style. He took a deep breathe and walk to the door.

*****

He got there in less than an hour. Not so many people could make him hurry that much to do anything or reach anywhere.

He walked inside the restaurant and glanced around to see if she was there, but he didn’t see her at first. And when he was about to ask to the guy in the reception someone gently grabbed his arm. It took a quick look in the hand that was holding his arm to know who it was. He turned around to face her with a soft smile in his lips.

He found her smiling back at him. It was a shy smile, but he didn’t know anything more beautiful than seeing that woman smile.

He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek and she closed her eyes in anticipation. Then he stepped back to look at her. “How do you manage to always look that stunning?” He said making her blush and giggle. He was astonished by just looking at her. “You don’t look bad yourself, Mr. Duchovny” she answered with a bigger smile now on her lips. How much he wanted to kiss that lips.

She was wearing a black tight dress, it covered up over her knees, and black heels. Which made their height difference not that remarkable. Even though she still looked so petite next to him.

“Shall we?” She said

“I follow you” everywhere you asked me to, he finished the sentence in his head

They were sat in a table in no time. It was a table in a corner, a bit dissembled and apart from the rest of the tables so they could have space with no interruption and hopefully nobody would notice who they were.

“That was fast” He said, referring to them getting a table that fast as the restaurant was quite full

“Well, I booked a table here when I got your first message… I mean, I didn’t know if you were free or not but…” She said shily and looked to the menu in front of her

“I like a foresighted woman” He smiled

He also looked at his menu and there was a moment of silence but he broke it “So… how is Peter?”

She raised her eyes to look at him and he wasn’t sure if look at her or pretend to keep reading his menu but finally raised his eyes as well until they met with hers. She took a few seconds to answer.

“Well… he is… he is fine. I think he is in Paris right now.” She couldn’t say the whole sentence holding her look into his and she then looked down at her right hand that was twisting the bracelet she was wearing on her left arm.

He looked and sounded surprised “What do you mean you think?”

“Well… we haven’t… we haven’t been having the best of times lately and I don’t really know at which point we are right now” He didn’t really know what to say but he couldn’t deny those weren’t bad news… not for him at least. He felt bad for feeling that but couldn’t help it. How much he disliked that guy… and maybe he was a wonderful person, but the simple fact that he was the one sleeping by Gillian’s side at night, getting to touch and feel her… made him feel sick to his stomach.

“Are you ok?” He asked with the most neutral tone he could use

“Yes, I am… I am ok I guess” She looked at him again and offered him a nice smile.

Before they could keep going on with their conversation a waiter came over.

“Good evening, my name is Paolo and I will be your waiter for the night so if you need anything, please call me.”

They both nodded and by the side of his eye saw Gillian was about to laugh and he wasn’t getting it but tried to ignore her otherwise he would begin to laugh without knowing why, but the simple fact she was doing so. She really had a contagious laugh and this was dangerous.

“So, have you decided what do you want? He asked them

Gillian looked back at her menu “For me the salmon, please” and then looked up at David

David gave her a look and then looked again at the waiter “For me the vegetarian lasagne, please”

The waiter noted it and continued “What would you like to drink?” David looked at Gillian letting her know she could chose “Maybe white wine? Is that ok?” and David nodded.

“Perfect, I will be back in a minute” Paolo said and left them alone again

“What was that? Why were you about to have a laugh attack in here? Poor guy” He said in a funny tone

“Paolo, seriously? She then laughed in a low tone

“Is it really because of his name?” He laughed with her. Oh, this woman

He loved that moments, she could be like a child sometimes, but it was one of the things he loved about her the most.

The dinner went smooth. They talked about their kids, work, David’s new movie, Gillian’s play… He made her laugh a lot and God knows how much he missed seeing her that happy. They emptied a couple of bottles of white wine and he felt it went up a bit into his head.

He really wanted to bring up the topic of their last conversation, but he didn’t find the right time to do it during the dinner. It amazed him how they always had something to talk about.

They stood up from the table and he insisted on paying the bill, but she said a straight no. She was so stubborn and that was something that turned him on.

They walked out of the restaurant. They weren’t really drunk, but the wine affected them a little bit. The moment they stepped out of the door, she wrapped her arm around his and he happily accepted it. They were walking without saying anything and with no direction.

After a few minutes she broke the silence.

“Are you ok?”

“Are you kidding? I’m in heaven right now” He joked but saw that her question was serious. She stopped and let go of him to stand in front of him

“I am serious, David. Are you ok?”

He then looked at her with a doubtful look “Yes, Gillian, I am just fine. Are you ok?” Her eyes were unreadable, and she was staring straight into his eyes with a deep look. All in a sudden they filled with tears “Hey, hey, Gill” he softly said putting his hands on her arms. She then turned her look to the floor

“I am sorry, David. For everything I putted you through. I never meant to hurt you, I promise it is the last thing I ever wanted, and I always acted following my instincts, not realizing how much this could affect you or the people surrounding me” She still didn’t look at him

“Hey, Gillian” He brought his hand to her cheek to caress it and then tried to make her lift her face so she would look at him “Gill, look at me, don’t worry” His voice was so sweet. She didn’t want to look to him, it was like she felt ashamed of herself “Gill…” she finally gave up and looked up at him. She still had tears on her eyes and it broke his heart

“I wasn’t sure about coming out for dinner or about meeting you at all. That is why I took so long to answer but I felt like I owe you that”

“Hey, no, you don’t owe me anything and God knows what an asshole I have been… I should be apologizing to you… too” He said even stuttering. He was so nervous and just wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was ok

“Are we ok? I am really sorry I didn’t call or texted… Fuck, I know what an idiot I’ve been, but I didn’t know how to face everything after… after what you told me”

“I didn’t text or call either… so we both were idiots.” He said showing a half smile and making her smile a little as well.

She took a deep breath and puckered her lips. He was swapping his gaze between her eyes and her lips. The street was almost empty and to be honest, he didn’t care if anyone was looking. He brought his hands to her cheeks and felt her shaking under his touch. Their gaze was so intense and what followed was somehow inevitable. He leaned to kiss her, but went so slow, he was afraid of her reaction, but she didn’t seem to move at all. Her arms were hanging next to her body, she wasn’t moving at all, was there just waiting for his move.

He reached her lips and locked them with his. He went softly, just waiting for her to react and she didn’t move, he felt her tears on his hands as she was holding her face and then immediately moved away. “I am… I am sorry… You… are you ok?” he asked with a worried tone

She then opened her eyes, smiled and looked at him. He couldn’t really read her expression and didn’t know what to do next. But this time was her who wrapped her arms around his neck “Actually… I’ve never been better” and by saying that she grabbed him by his hair and pulled him down to kiss him. He wrapped his hands around her waist and brought her closer to him.

They didn’t seem to care who was around them. After a while, their lips were sore, and she moved away to look at him. She smiled to him again and hold his arm, so he had to let go of her. Then she grabbed his hand “let’s go home”. She sounded so confident and, even though they were kissing there for God knows how long, he wasn’t expecting that at all. He didn’t reply, he was there just holding her hand and looking at her deeply. “Are… are you… I mean, if you want to” her tone had changed and sounded a bit worried and confused.

He shook his head and pulled her closer “I think that maybe tonight… maybe tonight, the world could be ours” and kissed her fiercely.

And hand in hand they walked together. Giggling and stopping in some corners to kiss each other like two teenagers in love.


	6. You think it’s easy, you think I don’t want to run to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so, so much for your nice comments and for keep reading!
> 
> Following the lyrics of the song, this part is sung by Zendaya so this one and a few of the following chapters will be from Gillian's point of view.
> 
> This chapter has MATURE and EXPLICIT content on it. Just warning.
> 
> Hope you enjoy x

Even though they stopped many times to kiss on what seemed a desperate need to feel each other, they got to Gillian’s Notting Hill apartment in no time. He didn’t seem in the mood to wait until they reached her bedroom and the moment they closed the door he pulled her against it and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

She always liked to be in control of everything, even during sex, but he had a strange power that made her weak somehow and she didn’t really care if he was in control of the situation.

She loved kissing him, but now there was no one that could see them, and she really, really needed more. His hands were already on her back working on the zip of her dress while her hands were working their way to his trousers. They barely had space between them and she felt how he finally managed to unzip her dress and introduced a hand on the dress. The feel of his hand on her bare back made her shiver.

She managed to unfasten his belt but was getting way to anxious in there. She putted her hands on his chest and pushed him to step back a bit. Then she ran her hands over her hair and sighed. He looked confused “Gill…?” But she didn’t answer, not in words at least. She stepped out her heel shoes, because her legs were shaky enough to have to hold herself up on those. Their height difference was more than notable now, but she didn’t care. He wasn’t moving because he probably didn’t know what she was doing, but she then looked up at him. “We have too many clothes on” that made him smirk and without hesitation he helped him out of his leather jacket and black t-shirt.

He had such a strong and fit body. She wanted to keep taking their clothes off, but she had to stop to run her hands over his pectorals. She felt him staring at her with a funny look “What?” she said “Nothing” he answered laughing. She looked at him with a challenging look

“Don’t play games with me, you know I know how to make you suffer”

“Are you threatening me?” He asked

“Uhm… maybe” She answered and then looked at his pectorals before looking back at his eyes “Shut up and keep working”

He obeyed with no complaining and helped her out of her dress. She was wearing only her underwear, so when he pulled her dress down her body, he exposed her perfect breasts. He stared at her for maybe way too long and then she took him out of his naughty thoughts by whispering “hey, I let you touch them”. He burst into a laugh that made her laugh as well and without thinking about it any further he bended down a little bit to grab her perfect breasts and lick and kiss they already erected nipples.

She moaned when she felt his mouth around her right nipple. Then, she felt his hand working its way down to her panties. He first teased her playing with the band of her panties. He loved teasing her, she surely knew that but today she really wasn’t in the mood for teasing, he wanted him all over her and her all over him. She ran one of her hands through David’s hair and pulled him up to face her and kiss him fiercely. Then she let go of him “don’t tease me little fucker” and then kissed him again. He was laughing through their kiss and decided to do what she told him to and introduced his hand on her panties.

Her body shivered under the touch of his hand. He found her sweet spot and rubbed two fingers in what seemed slow motion. She groaned in annoyance and pulled his hair. He smirked still kissing her and seemed to catch the message as he accelerated his rhythm. She was so wet and quite ready to come but didn’t want to finish yet. “Bed, now” she told him using a serious tone.

He took his hand out of her panties and put one of his arms under her knees and another one in her back to lift her up before she couldn’t complain. She punched him on the chest as it took her by surprise but then wrapped her arms around his neck for balance. “I hate you, you know that, right?” She whispered on his ear “Absolutely” he smirked “guide me”.

She guided him by whispering on his ear and he told her to stop if he wanted to make it to the bed. They eventually reached the bedroom and he placed her over the bed. He still had his jeans and shoes on. He walked out of his shoes and Gillian sat in the edge of the bed to help him with the jeans. She unbuttoned him and when he took them off his erection under his black boxers was more than notable. She bitted her lips in anticipation and helped him out of those as well, exposing his big erection. God, was it that big last time?, she thought to herself.

She then took his hand and pulled him into the bed with her. She kissed him and then looked at his hazel eyes “Do you remember the last time we did that?” he smiled “of course I do… and you have no idea how much I’ve waited for the day we could be together again”. She didn’t let him continue and kissed him and jumped over him. She kept kissing him and began to work her way down his body, kissing his lips, chin, neck, chest until she reached where she most wanted to get. He thrown his head back in anticipation and she showed a victory smile even though he couldn’t see it, she was in control now.

She grabbed his little… well, big, fella, and gave it a couple of strokes before beginning to place sweet kisses in the head of it. She then went down and licked all the way up from his balls to the top of it. She heard him moaning and she felt empowered. She then grabbed it and introduced his dick onto her mouth. It was way too big for her little mouth, but she was doing a great job by the response his body was giving her. She was going up and down, first slow and then fast. He groaned, and she heard him swearing, she grinned. She was helping herself with her hands until he interrupted “God, Gillian, stop, I’m going to come”

She obeyed and crawled on the bed to face him “And now… what?” She asked disinterested

“Oh, lady, you have no idea what’s coming your way” He turned around and now he was on top of her. He grabbed her panties and almost wrapped them off of her but she lifter her body a bit, so he could take them off.

Now they were both totally naked, facing each other and a feeling of nervousness grew inside her stomach. She wondered if he was feeling the same, but she could say so by the way they were looking at each other. Until now it was kind of a game, a really pleasant game, but this level of connection was a whole different level.

Her legs were parted ready to take him and he was holding himself with his elbows on the sides of her body and her arms straight up caressing her face and hair. Her arms were wrapped around his neck. None of them dare to ask if the other was ready but they weren’t moving either. Their breath was fast, their bodies covered in sweat and their faces were red. He finally leaned, kiss her on the lips and looked at her again and she understood him. They didn’t really need to say anything. She nodded and unwrapped one of her hands from his neck to bring it between them and guide him to her entrance.

The first contact made them both shiver and slowly he entered her. Probably at some other time that slow pace would drive her crazy but today it felt just ok, it felt just perfect. They were barely blinking. She had her eyes fixated on his and him on hers.

He was finally wholly inside her and felt so incredibly good, they both moaned in unison. Then he started to move in a slow pace, he didn’t seem to be in a rush to finish and she wasn’t either. She decided to wrap her legs around him and even felt him deeper.

She was really enjoying it, but needed more and in a whisper, said “faster”. He didn’t say anything but speeded up his pace. She let go of his neck and grabbed the sheets as tightly as she could and left out a loud moan. “I am so close, Gill, and I desperately want you to come with me” he speeded up even more and then she brought one of her hands to her clit to help her to come and when he felt it get between them, he held his whole weight in one of his arms and putted his hand over hers to help her.

In no time she exploded and with the feeling of it, he followed emptying himself inside of her.

They stayed still for a couple of minutes, but he then rolled to her side and faced the ceiling. She groaned at the lost of their contact. They needed a few minutes before recovering their normal breath rhythm.

It’s been over a year since the last time they had sex and it felt like an eternity. How she could have gone that long without this? She didn’t really know how much she missed it until now though. She really missed the sex, but he specially had desperately missed him, it made her crazy sometimes, but he was right when he said they were meant to be. The truest of truths was that nobody made her feel as complete, full and happy as he did, in any way.

“What are you thinking?” She didn’t notice but he had been staring at her for a while.

“About us” She answered still facing the ceiling. “About how things changed through the years and how good we used to be together… sometimes”

“I believe we still make a great team”

She faced him and found him smiling and that made her smile. “Yes, I guess we still are”

They locked their looks and she leaned towards him to give him a soft kiss and with her eyes closed rested her forehead into his “Can you stay for the night?”

“I was hoping you would ask” he softly said and then brought his hand to her face to caress her cheek “you are incredibly beautiful”

His words made her blush. Then she wrapped herself around his chest, tangled her legs with his and he held her tight against his body and in no time, sleep took over them.

*****

When she woke up she lifted her head from his chest to check her bedside table clock. It was short after 7:30 AM. She then placed her head against his chest again, still feeling sleepy. She felt safe and so comfortable between his arms.

She closed her eyes but couldn’t go back to sleep and a wave of feelings and thoughts invaded her body. She began to think about everything they have been through. They met over 26 years ago and they been through a bunch of ups and downs in their lives and especially in their relationship.

She remembered when they met or at least when they started working together. Remembered the moment she told him she was pregnant with Piper, he was the first one to know. They were on his trailer and his legs were shaking after she told him, she remembered him hugging her and his eyes full of tears. Not even her husband at the time was that happy or excited for her having a baby when she told him.

She also remembered the time she divorced Piper’s dad and how David was there for her, taking her out of her misery. She clearly remembered that night after the Golden Globes Awards. It was definitely _their night_ , both won for best actress and actor and the show won for best drama. She didn’t want to go after everything she was going through, but he was the one who told her not to resign on anything for anybody and took her to the awards. It was such a special night, also the first time they spent a night together, comforting and loving each other. She sometimes still thinks about it, would they have been together if that night didn’t happen, if she didn’t ask him to stay in her room on that hotel in Beverly Hills?

They spent a few months of full passion until a war between them started. She sighed at the memory. Then he secretly got married with Tea, who he knew for just a few weeks or months and they reached a point where they barely spoke in set until they found an in between point where they were just fine. He apologized to her for everything and so did she. It was a great restart, and everything was much easier again. She dated a couple of guys, but nothing lasted for over a year and, even though she didn’t give up on relationships, decided she wanted to focus all her free time and attention to rise her daughter.

It was after they finished recording season 8 when they were about to give in to the desire and attraction they felt for each other, but decided it wasn’t a good idea. She remembered being on her trailer with him after recording that last scene, a glass of wine, a couple of looks and they couldn’t help but kiss each other, but rationality took over them at some point and made them stop for the best. He was married, and she didn’t want to be the reason of anyone’s divorce.

She knew David and Tea had their moments and it wasn’t the easiest of relationships, but they were doing better than her with any of her past relationships.

By then, David and Tea already had West. She was a mix of them both, but she thought looked so alike David. She remembered thinking at that time about what would have happened if they ended up together for real, build a life, maybe get married and have their own children… Now it was too late, but she couldn’t help thinking about it from time to time.

They wrapped The X Files after another year, and they didn’t see that much of each other during that year, but still took some photoshoots and did interviews together, also attended parties and shot the last episode together. She remembered their water fight, saying goodbye to everybody wasn’t easy and she cried a lot that last day. She loved to record everything for the memory and specially that day she was walking around the set with her camera in hand.

After that, she moved to London and they exchanged emails from time to time. It was cute how he sometimes signed them as “Your Mulder” or “Mulder”.

They really didn’t see each other until they recorded the second movie of The X Files. It felt amazing to be back in set with everybody and it felt like time didn’t pass at all. It just felt so natural to work with everybody, specially with David. They had such domestic scenes and it just felt right and so comfortable. She was with Mark back then and when they did all the promotion and premieres of the movie she was about to give birth to Felix.

After that, they saw each other much more often. They did a panel together with Chris, she appeared by surprise on the opening day of his play in New York, paid him a visit on the set of Californication, meetings whenever she was in New York or he was in London… It felt amazing to regain the complicity and specially the friendship they shared.

She separated with Mark and he divorced Tea in the average of a year and by the time they celebrated the 20th anniversary of The X Files both were single. The anniversary was a big thing for everybody, they did a few conventions together, photoshoots, interviews… and with so, loads of hours were spent in hotel rooms. One night after the first day at San Diego Comic Con, they went for dinner with the whole crew. They had such a lovely time, remembering the old days and catching up with everybody. Everybody was so in the mood, but she was just shattered and decided to go back to the hotel. They insisted to her to stay a while longer, but she politely declined, but there was someone that didn’t want her to leave… or at least, didn’t want her to leave alone.

She walked out of the restaurant and was waiting for a taxi. The wind was quite chill even though it was the middle of July. She crossed her arms around her to protect her a little from the air, but then felt someone standing behind her, immediately wrapping his arms all around her. Of course, it was David. She remembered the sweet feeling of having him that close to her, hugging each other like they were doing right now.

They shared a taxi and they were laughing all the way to their hotel. She didn’t know anyone who could make her laugh with that much ease than him.

They didn’t talk, but ended up walking together to his room. Their chemistry, passion and desire for each other were there, probably never left and it took no time after he closed the door to get lost into each other arms, kissing each other, touching each other, feeling each other. She smiled at the sweet memory. After so many years, they were there again, more than having sex, making passionate love to each other, desperate to show to the other how much they missed each other.

They tried to spend every minute together and whenever they were alone, they couldn’t take their hands out of each other. She remembered how happy he made her feel and she tried to enjoy every minute as if it was the last.

Short after season 10 of The X Files was announced. She first didn’t want to come back to it, but he knew right how to convince her. They had an excellent year of shooting and all the promo they did, she really enjoyed doing all of this with him. They knew each other much better now and felt closer than ever, literally.

They came back for a season 11. She felt the need of closure, but was not willing to come back for a 12th one if they messed it up again, and they did. They had a great year, being with the crew was nice and working with him felt just so natural, easy and for sure would be fun and a great time.

They spent three years living in a cloud. But sadly, things didn’t end up as good as they started.

She felt a kiss on her head that took her out of her thoughts, “I can feel you thinking” he said, quoting Mulder, in a hoarse voice from his sleepiness. She then looked up at him, but didn’t say anything. She had a knot in her stomach as she remembered big part of what they have been through together. She was now scared because she didn’t want to screw things up again, but thinking about everything made her remember that their thing, whatever it was, it wasn’t easy. It never was, even though they felt it as the most normal and natural thing. They were just so comfortable next to each other and they were just… perfect. Perfect for each other. They may had many, many, many flaws, but neither of them seemed to care. She was desperate to told him she was willing to run to him and ignore everybody else and everything that surrounded them. But she… she just couldn’t.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

It took a while for her to answer “Yes…” she sighed “I was just thinking about everything we have been through together. And it’s…. a lot”

He smiled at her “And is that a bad or a good thing?”

“Well, I guess it depends on how we look or think about it”

“What do you mean by that?” He seemed worried now

She incorporated over him to look at him better “I mean that… it was never easy”

“Well, but I believe we always found our way… like… look at us now”

“Yes… but that is not what I mean. We had our moments, times we were really happy, but still wasn’t easy at all. We lied to our families and, of course, to the press and with it to the world” She wasn’t looking at him anymore

“Well, but that was for the best”

“Yes, I know…” She was worrying and overthinking, she knew it, but couldn’t help it.

They stopped talking, neither of them seemed to know what else to add to that conversation and she was staring at the wall of her room when he spoke again.

“I know it isn’t easy. It never was and it probably never will but Gill…“ He didn’t finish his sentence because her phone rang and she immediately thanked whoever was calling. She thought he probably was going to ask her to give it a try or something like this and that really terrified her. She didn’t want to hurt him, not again, and she didn’t want to ruin it all, but she wasn’t in the same page and this conversation could end like the one they had over a year ago on that hotel room where they basically ended up screaming at each other and her kicking him out of her room.

She grabbed her phone and her face changed when she read who was calling. “Who is it?” He probably noticed. She glanced at him and then back to her phone. She needed to take it.

“Oh… hey” She said in a soft voice

“Hey Gillian, I hope I didn’t wake you up” said the voice on the other side of the phone

“No, I was already awake” Answered her, glancing at David

“Oh, ok, great. I’m back today in London so I think we really need to talk”

“Ok… I didn’t know you were back today”

“Yes, I am on my way from the airport. I was just calling to check if you were awake and maybe I could stop by?”

Her face totally changed then, and it froze. “What, you mean like, right now?”

“Yes, I am about 35 minutes away”

She didn’t answer but she could feel her anxiety growing in her chest

“Gillian, you still there?”

“Yes, yes, I am. Ok… I will… I will see you now then”

“Sure, see you later.”

They hanged up. She rushed up to stand up from the bed. David was looking at her so confused “Who was that?” She didn’t answer, and he insisted “Gillian? Who was it?” She still didn’t answer and was just walking around her bedroom trying to find something to put on herself “You need to go now” that was her answer. David was still in bed, half covered by the sheets. “That was Peter, right?” She then stopped her movements and looked at him “and he is coming here now”.

He jumped out of the bed when he heard that “For fuck’s sake, Gillian!” She continued putting on her clothes and wasn’t looking at him, he went to grab his boxers that were on the floor next to the bed and put them on “What the fuck am I doing here? You said you barely even know where he was and excuse me if by the way you acted I totally understood you weren’t dating anymore” She then looked at him “I never said we weren’t together. I just said we weren’t having a great time” he looked at her in disbelief “oh, so you still together, but decide it’s a nice idea to bring me to your bed. What am I for you, Gillian? A toy that you think can use whenever your man isn’t around?”

“For fuck’s sake, David, no, no, no, you are no toy to me. You mean the…” she didn’t continue

“I mean the what?” She didn’t answer and looked to the floor “Gillian, I can’t do this anymore and I am not going to make you chose. But please, stop this game, I am tired of feeling in the top of the world for a while and then having you coming over to cut my wings and let me fall to crash into the floor with no parachute option”

He took his jeans and shoes and made his way out of the room. She stayed there staring at the floor. She desperately wanted to run after him, but she couldn’t move. She screwed it up again, she screwed it up big time and knew he would probably never forgive her again. She closed her eyes, filled with tears and took a deep breath. It took her a couple of minutes but decided to run downstairs.

By the time she got there he was already dressed up with the clothes they left behind at the entrance of her house when they couldn’t wait to touch and feel each other before reaching her bedroom.

“David, please…” she begged

He stared at her without saying anything. She saw the pain on his face and her heart broke into a million pieces knowing it was her fault. She opened her mouth to talk, but hesitated, finally not saying anything.

“Well, I think there is not much more to say” He turned around to face the door. She was standing a few meters behind him without knowing what to say for making him forgive her. He would scream and beg him to stay, but that wasn’t an option at the moment.

His hand was holding the doorknob and before turning it to open the door, he sighed and looked straight into her eyes “Goodbye, Gillian”

He then left her apartment and banged the door behind him. She didn’t move. Her legs couldn’t hold her anymore and she crushed in the floor, wrapped her arms around her knees and a wave of tears and sobs came out of her with his last words rumbling on her mind.


	7. But there are mountains and there are doors that we can’t walk through

She couldn’t control her sobs or either her tears. She really wanted to stop crying, but she just couldn’t, and she really needed to put herself together before Peter walked through that door. She was shaking, and her breathing was way too accelerated she was having trouble to catch the amount of air she needed.

She crawled to the nearest wall and sat with her back against it, maybe the cold wall would help her calm down. After a few minutes her breathing was coming back to normality, even though she was still crying. She finally stood up and went to the entrance door to pick up her dress and shoes that were left there last night. Another wave of tears came out, but she was trying to fight the feeling back. She then ran upstairs and made her bed and by the time she finished the doorbell rang.

She was going to open the door, but first made a stop in the bathroom to wet her face and try to hide somehow her red face and eyes. She sighed noticing it didn’t do much.

She finally reached the door, took a deep breath and open it.

“Gillian!” – Peter said with a smile in his face

“Hey, stranger.” – She said with a faked smile

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, sure, why shouldn’t I be ok?” She said opening the door more, so he could come inside “Come on in”. She turned around and walked to the living room to hide her face as much as she could from him. He walked inside and closed the door, leaving his suitcase in the entrance and following her to the living room.

“Do you want to drink or eat anything? There’s not much but…” She said looking at him but avoiding meeting his eyes. She was ashamed of her state and what she had done to him… it was true they weren’t having the best of times, but it wasn’t fair either to be unfaithful on someone.

“I am fine, thank you” He was trying to find her sight, but she was avoiding it. “May I?” He said pointing to the couch

“Sure” She followed him and sat beside him

He wasn’t speaking at first, and she wasn’t either. But her silence reasons were surely different from his ones. He finally turned around to look at her and began to talk.

“Gillian, I am sorry. I know we have not been having the greatest of times lately. We both have been working a lot, not seeing that much each other. I want you to know that you are more important that my job and work, but you clearly know how it all works”

“Sure I do” She said with a lost voice

“I have been thinking a lot about this and about us… Look” he grabbed her hand “You mean a lot to me and I think we both deserve more”

She didn’t know where this was going to, but she could feel her anxiety growing inside her. He continued

“I know you didn’t want to complicate things, you have three kids, two of them still quite young… but, yes, I thought about it a lot…” he seemed not to know how to ask her whatever he wanted to ask her, and she was panicking inside “Well, I thought that we could… maybe, move in together?”

Her eyes widened more than she knew they could. He then looked at her worried and brought her hand to his chest “You don’t have to answer now”

“I… I wasn’t expecting that.” She was looking at him without knowing what to say but suddenly the memories from the night before hit her. “Peter, I need to tell you something.” She was really going to tell him, she really wanted to, but he then talked again.

“You don’t need to give me an answer yet. It’s fine, I don’t want to pressure you. But I think it’s what we need”

He looked too hopeful and she was feeling like the worst person in the world and now the memories from her fight with David, barely an hour ago, hit her harder. She wanted to cry again and decided it was enough to broke one heart for the day. Then she looked back at Peter and kissed him. He instantly followed but then separate from her “Is that a yes?”

“Is a “I will think about it”. Let’s go upstairs” she told him and grabbed his hand to guide him upstairs.

They reached her bedroom, just took their clothes out and the touching was short, she just wanted to fuck him. That way they didn’t need to talk. It didn’t last long, he came, he asked her if she was done and she just nodded. No conversation, no nice words, no hugging at the end.

She stood up from the bed and locked herself inside the bathroom. She turned the water of the shower on and bursted into tears. The noise of the water helped hiding her sobs. She sat down in the floor, with her back against the wall and the water rolling over her.

After good 20 minutes she walked outside the bathroom. Peter was still on her bed checking his email on his phone.

“Hey, beautiful girl” She smiled at his words. “I was thinking we could spend the day together maybe? I don’t really have anything to do”

All she wanted to do was to curl up on her bed and cry. She knew David meant so much to her, otherwise she wouldn’t be feeling as miserable as she did. At the same time, though, deep inside her, she felt things would maybe always be that way and that after all, they weren’t meant to be, they would always have mountains between them… and also an ocean.

She then looked at Peter “Sure we can. I think it will do good on us”. He was a great guy and didn’t deserve to be hurt. Also, things with him were easy. She wasn’t in love, but it was ok for now.

*****

They spent a nice day together; had lunch in a nice place, went to a museum and then walked through Hyde Park.

When they came back to her place, he meant to stay, but she told him she wasn’t feeling so well and preferred to be alone for the night. She told him many times she was an independent person and that sometimes all she needed was to be alone, and he was quite good respecting her spaces, so he took his suitcase and called for a taxi to bring him to his place.

The moment he left Gillian felt so alone. She spent the whole day thinking about what happened between her and David, but at least had a distraction to hold on and avoid it for a while.

She didn’t know what to do but the loneliness and feeling of guilt were hitting her hard. She grabbed her phone and opened google. She hesitated, but finally searched for the time and place of the premiere David was attending.

The premiere was held at BFI Southbank and started at 6 PM. She checked the time and it was past 8 PM. “Fuck” she thought. She knew couldn’t call him or write to him, as he was probably way too mad and upset with her to answer. What could she do?

Somehow it came to her mind that Lily mention she was working again with David for this project and decided to text her. “ _Hey Lily, how’s my girl? I heard you are in London for that new movie and I was wondering if you were going anywhere after the premiere. I know I am not part of the movie, but it’s always nice to hang out with you all… maybe I could snick in! Hope to hear about you soon! x G_ ” She sent it. She didn’t want to ask directly anything about David. She clearly knew Lily wasn’t silly and had noticed that there was something between her and David… but still.

Not long after, she got a reply. “ _Hey Gigi, we are actually staying in the theatre after the movie. They booked a big hall and will have dinner and probably loads of alcohol in there. Just come over, it will be fun. Give me a text if you have any trouble getting in, which I don’t think so. Who doesn’t know you in London? Ha ha, can’t wait to see you. x Lily_ ”

She didn’t reply to that text and now was nervous as hell. Ok, shall she go? Why did she text Lily in the first place? She really wanted to say sorry to David, and if possible before he left to the States again. Shall she do it there, in the middle of a party? Would they create a big scene and be exposed to everybody for real? She was a right mess. She didn’t know what she wanted or what she should do.

She was walking from one side to the other of her living room for maybe one hour until she decided to get a shower and get dressed. Still didn’t know what the hell she was trying to do, but things couldn’t be worse, so screw it all.

Got dressed in a dark red dress that covered her up to her knees and had a nice V neckline, and black heels. She put on some make up and called for a taxi.

By the time she reached the theatre it was near 10:30 PM. She hesitated as she didn’t really know how to get in there without being noticed or stopped by any fans or paparazzis. She walked around the building, feeling quite silly, she should have called Lily. Then she noticed a big entrance with a couple of body guards. There were some people around there, probably expecting someone famous to come out.

She was getting closer when he saw David walking through that doors. If that wasn’t destiny. She speed up but stopped all in a sudden when she saw a woman walking just behind him and him wrapping his hand behind her back.

She stayed there. Frozen. She was staring at them from an angle that if they didn’t turn around probably would never notice her. That moment she understood that she couldn’t play this game anymore.

She woke up around David’s arms, then fought with him and basically kicked him out of her place because her supposed boyfriend, who she didn’t actually love was coming over to talk and try to solve things as they weren’t having a great time. This second one asked her to move in together, instead of directly say no, fucked him to shut him up and spend the nicest day by his side, because “it was easy”. Now, she wants to apologize to David, because she is being a damn little spoiled girl who doesn’t know what she wants but keeps playing and hurting two nice guys that care for her. And now what? Reality explodes in her face one more time. Life doesn’t wait for you to decide.

She looks around her and turn around. Keeps wondering what the fuck is this game she organized, where she wrote all the rules and everybody is playing the way she wants them to play but suddenly, it’s clear that David got tired of that game and Peter will be tired as soon as he knows what she has been doing, and then for real, she will be alone.

She wasn’t that far away from her place, so instead of taking a taxi, decided to walk. Half way, her feet began to be sore and she stopped to take off her heels. She had a lost look on her eyes. Before keep walking she checked her phone, she had a missed call from Lily. Probably wondering why wasn’t she there? She sent her a text “ _I am sorry I didn’t text you before, I am not feeling really well and decided not to come. I hope to see you maybe before you leave the city. x G_ ”.

She kept walking and short before reaching her place she stopped again and grabbed her phone. “ _There are doors we can’t walk through. I am sorry_.” She sent it and saved her phone back on the small handbag she was carrying.

*****

She came back around an hour and a half ago. She had taken off her dress, removed her make up and was walking around with a long pyjama t-shirt and a messy pony tail on her hair.

She turned on the TV a while ago and wasn’t paying much attention to the movie that was on. She was turning around her phone on her hands, probably waiting for an answer that knew probably would never arrive.

It was almost 1 AM when the sound of the doorbell woke her up. She must have dozed off on the couch. With an sleepy face and tumbling, she went to the door. Who the hell was there at that time of the night? She looked through the peephole before opening the door and almost lost her breath when she did so.

She opened the door with no hesitation.

“Can you please tell me what this means?” David said holding his phone up on his right hand, facing her.


	8. I know you're wondering why, because we're able to be just you and me within these walls. But when we go outside you’re gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all

She was standing there, in front of him, still holding the door with her right hand, eyes wide open and without knowing what to say. David locked his phone screen and saved it in his pocket.

“I couldn’t find a cab. Funny, right? We are in London and seemed there was no cabs in the streets at that time in the night. So, I had to walk.” He stopped, was looking at her right into her eyes and she was barely blinking. “I wasn’t planning on ending up in Notting Hill at 1AM tonight. In fact, I was with a really cute blonde woman having some drinks and then we decided to walk to my hotel, but first I decided to check my phone to find this message saying something about doors.”

She didn’t answer, she was processing his words and trying to find an accurate answer. They were standing there, looking at each other, but then she reacted.

“And why didn’t you stayed with that _really cute blonde woman_?” she said in an annoyed tone

He left a mocking laugh “Because even though I am hurt and tired of your games, I desperately needed to know what the hell this means” He then sighed “I don’t even know what I am doing here” He shook his head no putting on a disgruntled face and meant to turn around but then she let go of the door and grabbed his arm to turn him around, so they were looking at each other again.

“Stay” that’s all she said. He looked at her with an unreadable look. “Please, let’s just talk” She begged. She really wanted to let him know how bad she felt and really felt the urge to apologize again and again, making sure maybe more for her than for him, that that was it, no more games, it would probably be the end but couldn’t leave things like they were.

“Gillian, seriously, stop. Stop. We talked hundreds of times, we have been through this many times and it lead to where we are right now. I don’t want to talk, I want to forget you and I fucking can’t.” He sounded really annoyed and his tone was quite high

“Please, just come inside. I don’t need all the neighbourhood to know about our problems” She said in a more calmed tone

He seemed to hesitate at first, but finally walked inside. She closed the door behind them and he stayed in the entrance with his arms crossed in front of his body. He was so tall and strong, while she was a really tiny person. That never stopped her to walk over anybody, but today she felt so little.

“You know… I texted Lily, I… I wanted to come see you because I needed to apologize and I came to the theatre to find you with that other woman and… I saw it clearly” She said

“What exactly you saw clearly if I may ask?” His tone was still hoarse and that was irritating her, but didn’t want to enter this game and end up in a fight

“You. Me. This.”

“Gillian, listen, I can’t. I told you, I can’t play this game anymore. I am tired of being hurt over and over again, and I don’t want to hurt you either. So please, talk clear or I will just go… what that message meant?”

“I know we can’t be together. That is what I saw clear tonight. Because it is way too painful and I can’t do this anymore either” She stopped, hoping for an answer, but he never said anything “David, seeing you tonight with that other woman crushed me”

“And what do you think it does to me knowing you are with someone else? What do you think it does to me thinking that I have had you, but I lost you and it is clear that there is no way we can do a thing to make this work?” He was almost screaming at her and took a step closer to her and she then stared at the floor “What do you want? What goes through your mind when you think about me? About us? Have you thought about why it crushed you so much seeing me with that other woman?”

She shook her head no.

“I shouldn’t have come.” He stared at the roof in disbelief and was probably thinking about opening the door and leave. Then she looked at him again and meant to talk but didn’t say a thing.

“What, Gillian… what?”

 “The message, It means that I know we can’t be together.”

“You said that already”

She sighed “I am sorry. Fuck, David, I am sorry. I never meant to put you through anything that could hurt you”

“Well, you clearly did”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, I am feeling enough shit to have you coming over to tell me what a shit I did and acted like”

“Well, Gillian, it was your fucking game and I only played by your rules, so YOU tell me what the hell I am doing here” he was screaming now and sounded so hurt, annoyed, angry

She looked at him and felt the need to hit him in the face but instead she screamed at him back “You know what does it all means? You have any fucking idea what this all means?”

“No, I really don’t, so I was expecting you could tell me”

She left a mocking laugh and shook her head biting her tongue, still feeling the need to hit him, but instead she spoke “It fucking means that I love you and I don’t know what to do about it, because I was… I am too afraid to accept it” She was shaking, fuck, she didn’t think it and just said it. There was it. Out loud. There was no point on lying to him again. She knew she already lost him, he was hurt and there was no way back.

He stood there, looking at her with his eyes wide open, his arms now hanging next to his body.

“I am not expecting you to say anything… I am sorry, I really am.” She had tears in her eyes and her tone was much lower now

“Shut up” he interrupted her. His voice was soft as well now

“What?”

He then got closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to his chest. She first didn’t move but then wrapped her hands around his body and leaned her head against his chest and let her tears out. She didn’t feel little anymore, she felt safe.

“I am so sorry things didn’t go as we wished them would or as we wanted them to… and I know it is my fault, because I am too afraid to give it another try.” She said, without looking at him, but grabbing him as closer as she could to her.

“We maybe didn’t learn from our mistakes from the past… but don’t blame it all on you, neither of us knew how to do it. We tried.” He was caressing her back and kissed her on the head. Then, he let her go and separated from her. Her hands stayed flat in his chest and they looked into each other eyes.

“I should probably go… now for real” then David said, but never moved a centimetre away.

She didn’t want him to go, she wanted him to stay, but deep inside her she knew it was for the better. Then she closed her eyes and sighed. She caressed his chest and then let him go.

“Probably you should, yes.”

He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “We are going to be fine.” He gave her a sweet look “See you soon, Gilly”

She smiled at him calling her “Gilly”

“See you soon, David”

He opened the door and before stepping outside and closing it looked at her one last time and smiled. Then the door banged behind him.

She stayed there, staring at the door, with her arms crossed in front of her and tears rolling down her face. The only noise that reminded was the echo of the door bang.

The doorbell took her out of her thoughts and her body completely froze and her expression totally changed. She waited a few seconds because she couldn’t react but then opened the door. Of course, it was David. He barely gave her time to react or say anything that he stepped inside and took her face in his hands to give her the kiss she didn’t know until now but needed as air. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, desperately.

She closed the door kicking it and he put her against it. She didn’t want to let go of him, but they separated, gasping for air.

“Did you mean it?” He said, almost whispering, and so close to her mouth

“What are you referring to?” Her heart beat was going _in crescendo_

“Do you really love me?”

She moved her hands from his neck and placed them on his face to caress his cheeks, separating a little bit him from her so she could properly look at him, his hazel eyes penetrated hers “I love you” then she said

“One last night” He said

“One last night” She agreed

And without thinking any bit further she kissed him again, but he quickly separated from her and with a quick move he put his right arm on her back and his left arm under her knees and lifted her up to carry her upstairs to her bedroom.

She wrapped her arms again on his neck for balance and kissed him on the cheek and the neck on their way upstairs.

He placed her gently on the bed and stared at her for a little while.

“Are… you ok?” She asked

“I was just admiring you. How perfect and beautiful you are”

That made her smile “Shut up and come here”

He gave her back the smile and got over her in the bed. He kissed her again, they didn’t seem to be in any rush. He then incorporated, took of his shoes and socks and sat in the bed and so did she. They were in front of each other. She lifted her arms as he helped remove her pyjama t-shirt and with so, exposed her perfect breasts. He admired her, and she was even feeling shy, like that was the first time they were doing it. He then bent down, tracing her bare back and stomach with his hands, placing sweet kisses on her neck and breasts, making her nipples harden. She held her hands on her shoulders while she was working with his hands and mouth on her breaths.

She then pushed him back as she couldn’t wait to feel his body either so helped him off of his shirt and trousers and in doing so she placed sweet kisses all over his face, his chin, his neck, his chest… she was touching and caressing him, she needed to feel him as closer as possible, she wanted all of him.

They were only wearing their underwear. They were touching, kissing and feeling each other as if it was the first time or in this case, the last one. They weren’t saying a thing but seemed to understand each other perfectly. There was a lot of pain between them, a lot of frustration, but a lot of love as well.

She grabbed his ass, that ass she loved, and he responded with a smile and a kiss on her lips. She started playing with his boxers hem and introduced a hand to find his already hardened member. She gave it a few strokes, making him moan and after a while he grabbed her wrist and took it off from his boxers, taking them off. He left them in the floor and helped her to lie in the bed. Then, she placed her hands on the hem of her panties and pulled them down her legs, she lifted her body, a little bit to help him and he throw them in the floor to join the rest of their clothes.

He placed himself on the top of her and she welcomed him kissing him again. God, she would never get tired of kissing him, touching him… She always loved to be in top, that way she was in charge of the situation, but it was David, it was her weakness and trusted him probably as much as anyone.

He then slid a hand between them to get to her inner thighs and felt her wetness, she was ready for him. They didn’t seem to be so in the mood for games. He looked at her eyes and she nodded, telling him by that she was ready. He stroked himself a couple of times before placing his big member in her entrance.

His arms were now next to her body, supporting him, and she lifted her own arms, so they could hold their hands. They were looking into each other eyes while he was slowly entering her. She was shaking, and she felt him shaking as well. She was nervous, didn’t know why, but she was. Tears formed on her eyes and were starting to roll down the sides of her face and he seemed to instantly notice as he kissed her. It wasn’t a hurried kiss, it was sweet, it was lovely, it was what she needed.

He was filling her fully. Still holding hands and he started to move. They weren’t in a rush, he was taking his time and she was enjoying every move. She wrapped her legs around his waist and both found the perfect rhythm. They were still looking at each other, losing their normal breath rhythms, letting go soft moans.

There was so much pain, so much resentment but they weren’t fucking, they were making love and she was feeling all the pain in every stroke, in every move. There was the man she loved but sadly couldn’t have.

The rhythm was now faster, and she felt her orgasm building inside her.

“I am about to come” she whispered, and he accelerate his moves now making her moan harder and it took a few more strokes for her to explode. He continued his moves and finally emptied himself inside of her.

He couldn’t hold his own weight and crushed over her. She let go of his hands and wrapped her arms around him. His face was so close to her and while he placed sweet kisses on her temple, her hand caressed his hair. Tears were rolling down her face again, she felt great but still felt all the pain they built between them.

They stayed there for what felt like ages, either of them didn’t seem to have any intention to move but he finally rolled over to the other side of the bed and she moaned annoyed at the loss of his contact.

“Come here” he told her. And she moved closer to him, placing his head on his chest and now was him who wrapped his arms around her while leaving sweet kisses on her head.

“Thank you” she said without looking at him and drawing circles with her fingers on his chest

“For what?”

“For tonight. For every night we spent together” She now moved and looked up at him

He smiled at her “Thank you for letting me spend one last night with you” and he leaned down to kiss her softly in the lips.

She then relocated herself, but felt him move, intending to stand up

“Where are you going?”

“To… my hotel?”

“Stay” She looked up again at him “One last night”

He seemed to hesitate but finally kissed her forehead and answered smiling “One last night”

And wrapped into each other arms, her feeling as safe as ever, they fell asleep.

*****

She woke up earlier than him. She checked her bedside table clock, it was past 8 AM. He was still deeply sleep and she smiled just imagining how wonderful would be to wake up every morning next to him. They barely move during the night, both were sweating, but still hugging each other and she tried to be so careful while separating from him to stand up from the bed.

She made her way to the shower, got dressed and he was still asleep. She took a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a note for him “ _Out there it may be hopeless after all, but please remember that we can be just you and me whenever we are within these walls. Gilly xx_ ”

She kissed his forehead, being careful on not waking him up, before leaving the bedroom and took her coat and handbag that were on the living room and left. She had to do something, and she needed to do it as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my girls, K and L, for giving me wonderful ideas and supporting me! It means the world x


	9. No one can rewrite the stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one can rewrite the stars  
> How can you say you'll be mine?  
> Everything keeps us apart  
> And I'm not the one you were meant to find  
> It's not up to you, It's not up to me  
> When everyone tells us what we can be  
> How can we rewrite the stars?  
> Say that the world can be ours  
> Tonight

It just took her 25 minutes driving to get to Peter’s apartment. She parked in front of his place and with no hesitation step out of the car, walked up the steps and stopped. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going to cut her relationship with him? It was easy, it was comfortable, it didn’t need a lot of explanations… she had her hand in the air with her finger pointing in to the bell and she shook her head trying to avoid all these thoughts and finally rang the bell. She was nervous now, but sure of herself and didn’t want or need to have doubts, not now.

Not even a minute passed when the door opened.

“Oh, hey, I wasn’t expecting you at all”, said Peter with a smile on his face

“Hey” she said returning a forced smile “Can I come in?”

“Sure” Peter stepped aside the door so she could walk in and so she did

“Want some breakfast?” Peter said walking in the kitchen’s direction. He was still wearing his pyjamas, so Gillian thought he probably woke up not long ago

“No, thank you. I actually came to talk” Gillian said following him but stopping in the entrance of the living room and putting her hands inside her jacket pockets

“Oh, ok. Is… is everything all right?” Peter said with a worried tone while he turned around to face her.

Gillian took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds before looking again at him “I think we should break up”

Peter didn’t say a thing at first, it took him a few seconds to react “Why… why should we? I thought we were fine… Is it because I asked you to move in together?”

“No, no, it is… it is not about that”

“And what is it then?”

“Look, Peter, we are fine whenever we are together, and it is ok… it was ok, until now. I realized that… well, I guess I need more.”

“But, Gillian, what is more? I want to give you everything”

“Peter… we both know I am not in love with you and you are not in love with me. We have had a great time together, but this is not going anywhere”

His eyes widened “Well, you clearly never understood my feelings then. I don’t say “I love you” to every…” then he stopped “You never said you loved me…”

She never realized that, never thought about it, but it was something that she never said unless she really, really felt it. “I am sorry, Peter… I am really sorry” She took her hands out of her pockets, stepping towards him “I never intended to hurt you and that is why I am doing this”

He seemed hurt, confused and probably angry “Is there… is there someone else?”

“I am not doing this because there is someone else. I am doing this for myself.”

“David is in London, isn’t he?” He let go a mocking laugh “I am wondering where he spent the night.”

“How dare you?” That really annoyed her

“Do you think I am blind? I have seen how you look at him. You never, ever, looked at me that way. But I believed that it was over, whatever it was you two had, but it is clearly not”

“I don’t think I have to give you any explanation”

“Well, I think you do when I am, or was, supposed to be your partner”

She now felt awful. She didn’t intend to bring the conversation in this direction. She never intended to hurt him, after all he was a nice guy that treated her so well and with who she shared nice moments.

“Ok, I am sorry. I am sorry. But it’s not…”

He didn’t let her finish “It’s not what?” He paused and seemed to hesitate on stepping towards her but didn’t “Well, you know what? I don’t care. But now leave, please”

“I am sorry, Peter…” She really didn’t know what else to say “You are a really nice guy and deserve someone better than me”

“Oh, Gillian, don’t sell me this kind of bullshit” He was angry indeed

She didn’t know how to continue the conversation. She knew he was right, what was the reason she was really breaking up with him? David? Herself? What? She knew things with David would never work, no matter what they felt for each other, but she then saw it clearly: she couldn’t be with anybody while being in love with someone else. It happened to her before and it never ended well.

“I think I better leave”

“I think that too”

She thought on saying something but decided better not to.

He stayed there, looking at her as she turned around and made her way to the door.

She stepped inside her car and before starting the engine checked her phone. No new messages or missed calls. She put her hands in the wheel and let go all the air she was holding since she got there. She felt bad for Peter, but so relieved at the same time. But now… now what? She was alone again, with two men: one that loved her, but she didn’t and one that she loved but couldn’t have.

After a few minutes she brushed her hair with her hands, took a deep breath and started the engine. That was it. She was alone, but she was going to be fine.

*****

She opened the door at her place and smelled fresh coffee. She closed the door carefully behind her and walked to her kitchen. She leaned on the door frame and stared at him. He was humming some random song while serving himself a coffee and she couldn’t help herself but smile to the curious domesticity of the moment.

He lifted his head and found her staring at him “Oh… oh, hey! Sorry, I woke up and I was a bit hungry” She didn’t say anything, but was just there staring at him smiling and he smiled back “where did you went? I found your note…”

“Glad you did”

“Gillian, you ok?” His face expression changed a little bit and sounded worried

“I broke up with Peter” She still had a half smile on her face but his totally changed

“Oh… ok, uhm… wow, I am… sorry?”

“Don’t be. I am going to be ok”

They both stayed there, looking at each other but none of them seemed to know what next to say. Someone needed to break the ice and so she did

“I really wasn’t expecting to find you here”

It took a few seconds for him to react to her words “Yes, well… I meant to leave, but as I said I got hungry and” he didn’t continue as he saw her throw her handbag in the floor and walking towards him until she reached him and wrapped her arms around his body. He stared at her and without saying a word he wrapped his arms around her as well.

They stayed there for God knows how long. Just hugging each other and not saying a word. She finally talked “When is your flight?”

“Tomorrow around 5PM”

“Stay”

He took a deep breath and moved back, his hands still on her waist “Gillian… what about that _one last night_ thing we talked about last night?”

She stared at him and bitted her lip “I guess until you leave it is still that _one last night_ we talked about.”

He couldn’t help himself but smile “and I guess that, as you said in your note, _we can be just you and me whenever we are within these walls_ ” they both laughed

“I hate this.” She said “We are not serious”

“Not at all”

She moved closer to him and he moved his hands from her waist to her face and while caressing her cheeks gave her the sweetest of kisses on the lips. She couldn’t help herself but smile through the kiss.

“Well, thank you for not leaving early then”

“My pleasure”

She felt lucky to have him around.

“Want some breakfast?”

“Actually, yes… I am hungry”

*****

They spent the rest of the morning in her place. He helped her changing the sheets of her bed, clean the kitchen and after they had lunch, they sat in her living room. He was sat in her sofa and she was laying with her head on his legs. He was reading a random book he found on one of her shelves and she was playing with her hair. After a while, she asked him to sing to her one of his songs. That took him by surprise but gladly accepted. They looked in _YouTube_ for a karaoke version of “ _Half Life_ ” and he sang it to her. She already listened to the album, but she never heard him sing that song live before and smiled all the time while he sang.

“This is a beautiful one” she said

“Well, it’s better with the music live, but anyway, I guess it’s the more special on this album”

“Why?”

“Do you really need me to answer?”

She smiled again and, still laying on the sofa, she rose her hand and caressed her face.

“Thank you”

He smiled at her words. “I would kiss you right now, but the position is not allowing me to”

That made her laugh and she rose, holding herself on her neck and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her back and happily welcomed her. They stop kissing but were still hugging in a bit of a weird way and both laughed. She then let go and went back to her initial position.

“Look, I know what we said yesterday but… you are here and don’t leave London until tomorrow and if my mind doesn’t fail, I think you said you weren’t doing anything today or either tomorrow morning so-“

He didn’t let her finish “Can I stay then?”

She smiled “Please, do”

“Well… if you insist, I guess I will have to do an effort”

“You bastard” she laughed and hit him on the chest

“That hurt” He said pretending to be in agony

“No, it didn’t” she laughed

“Oh, you know what it hurts?”

“Uhm…?”

“Tickling”

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” She said trying to escape, but he was already tickling her belly while holding her “David, stoooop” She was laughing so hard

“Ok, ok!”

“Oh, I hate you” she said frowning

“Oh no, you don’t”

“Yes, I do”

They both laughed again.

She didn’t remember the last time she was that happy. The domesticity they were sharing on that small moment was meaning everything to her.

“Look, you know what I could do?”

“As long as it doesn’t involve tickling, whatever you want”

“Oh, whatever I want? Well, keep that on mind for tonight”

She smiled and rolled her eyes

“Seriously now, I was thinking I could go back to my hotel, pick up my stuff so I can be here as long as I can until I have to leave tomorrow to the airport”

She didn’t like the idea of seeing him leaving. “I like that idea. I think I can even bring you to the airport”

“Well, I guess I will leave with Lily”

“Actually, that’s fine, if it’s ok also for her, that way I can see her. We were supposed to met as I told you”

“Yes, that’s fine for me, I can talk to her and we maybe can have lunch together before we leave?”

“That sounds great, but then that means you will have to do a great job until the lunch time to make up for the time we won’t have alone”

“Oh, miss Gillian, are you underestimating me?”

“I would never”

They both laughed. She then rose and sat beside him.

“I will go then, it won’t take me long”

“You better be back soon”

He smiled and kissed her. She wrapped her arms on his neck and sat on his lap.

“Woah, woah, stop G woman, or I won’t ever make it to the hotel”

“Ok…” she rolled her eyes and that made him smile

He gave her another short kiss on the lips and she sat back on the sofa. Then he stood up and take his jacket that was on a stool in the kitchen, which communicated with the living room. Then he went back to her, who was looking at him with puppy eyes and gave her a peck on the lips “Promise It won’t take long… I love you… too”

That she wasn’t expecting. She stared at him with wide open eyes and saw him leave the living room with a smile on his lips. Did he just say those three words?

She stayed in the sofa for a while thinking about it when the doorbell rang. That couldn’t be David again unless he forgot something. She went to the door and opened

“Hi mooooooooom, we are back!” Felix said smiling and quickly hugging her

“Oh, hey sweetheart!” She answered rubbing his head

Then saw Mark leave the car with Oscar

“Is everything ok? Thought you said you were taking them until Monday” She said, now worried

“Yes, but I had an emergency at work and have to leave for Rome tomorrow really early in the morning.” Mark said “I sent u a couple of messages and tried to call but couldn’t get an answer”

She barely remembered where she left her phone “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear my phone”

“I hope it’s ok I brought them earlier” Mark said a bit worried

“Oh, yes, don’t worry! I am not working until next Wednesday so it’s fine”

“Great, then! I’m so sorry, Gill, I promised them we can go or do whatever they want together next weekend they are with me”

“I’m sure they are going to keep that on mind” Both laughed “Oh, don’t worry Mark, seriously. Enjoy your trip as much as you can”

“Well, If I have time I will try and at least eat some nice pizza and pasta”

“I have to say I am a bit jealous” She smiled

“Ok, I better go, need to pack and fix a few papers before leaving. Guys, I will see you in a few days.” Oscar was hugging him “It’s ok, buddy, remember we are doing whatever you want next time, ok?”

“You promise?” Oscar said

“I do” Mark answered smiling. Then the kid gave his dad a big hug and Felix went to do the same. “Bye, Gill”

“Bye, Mark, thanks for bringing them. Let me know when you get to Rome”

“I will, see you”

“See you!”

Now she had both kids next to her and the three of them waved to Mark goodbye before going inside.

“So how was your time with dad?”

“Fine, we went to the bowling, cinema and dad let us have ice cream every night. You never do” Oscar said

“Oh, because that’s not healthy at all!” She said patting his son’s head

“What about you, Felix, you had fun?”

“Yes, it’s been great. We saw Martha and Eddie and played with them yesterday evening”

“Oh, that sounds great as well.” She said smiling “Well, take off your jackets, bring your stuff upstairs. Are you hungry?”

“Yeeeees” both kids said

“Ok, then do what I asked and come to the kitchen, I will fix you something”

“Ok, mom” Felix said

“Ooooooook, mommy, mommy, mommy” Oscar said hugging her hard

She smiled “Come on then”

Both kids ran upstairs to leave their stuffs.

Ok, she had a _small_ problem now. David was coming back, and she had her two kids in the house. Should he call him and ask him not to come? Were Oscar and Felix going to be ok having him around? They knew and adored him, they were always laughing around him the times they have seen each other in set. She was worrying maybe a bit too much. But it annoyed her the fact that she couldn’t even prepare her kids or David for that. She heard them come downstairs again and decided not to do anything, she of course wasn’t going to leave her kids for anybody or anything, but she also wanted David so… let’s see how this works, she thought.

She got ready some jam sandwich for her kids and a couple of juice glasses. They were eating and drinking while telling her more a bit their days with daddy when they were all surprised for the doorbell.

“I will goooooo, mommyyy” Oscar said

“It’s ok” she said rushing after him

Gillian couldn’t stop him before opening the door.

“DAVIIIIIIIIIIIIIID” Oscar said and hugged him quickly

David’s face showed no less than surprise at least. He looked at the kid and then at his mom

“ _I’m sorry_ ” Gillian whispered

David let go of his hand luggage and his hand bag and hugged the kid with a big smile on his face “Hey, buddy, how are you?” and it didn’t take long for Felix to make an entrance and when he saw David, he also ran to him

Well, at least they were happy to see him and that calmed her.

When the kids let go of him, he stepped inside with his stuff

“Are you staying?” Felix asked

“Well, yes” He looked at Gillian who was biting her lip “But just for tonight”

“Oh, I want you to stay longer. Can you play with us?” Oscar then said

“Hey guys, why don’t you go finish your food and let David at least take off his jacket?” Gillian then talked

“But mommy…” Felix complained

“Come on, then we can maybe play something”

“Ooooooook…” Felix said and him and Oscar went back to the kitchen. When they were already out of their sight Gillian turned around to look at David

“Look, I am really sorry, I didn’t know they were coming, Mark was supposed to bring them on Monday but he had to leave for work and I didn’t see his message and-“

David laughed and didn’t let her finish while grabbing her arm “Hey, Gillian, it’s totally fine. You know I adore your kids”

“I know, but that is not the night you probably were expecting” Gillian said with half smile on her face

“I know. It’s better”

She now gave him a big smile “Well, guess it’s going to be interesting”

“That’s for sure”

She turned around to check the kids were still on the kitchen and then faced David again, getting on her tiptoes to give him a sweet kiss.

“But I hope you don’t forget about _tonight_ , Mrs. Anderson” he said in a naughty tone

“I would never, Mr. Duchovny” she smiled and gave him another peck on the lips before going together to join her kids in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm deeply sorry for the delay on this chapter. I wasn't really inspired and I didn't want to force myself on doing anything I wasn't gonna be really proud of. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will try not to take that long on writing another one.


	10. All I want is to fly with you. All I want is to fall with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the biiiiiiiiiiiig delay on uploading. I wasn't sure about it and I believe I did something quite good with this chapter... I just hope you like it and enjoy it.
> 
> This is the first one from both, Gillian & David, points of view.

After a couple of hours playing hide and sick, races with toy cars and even a pillow fight, kids were starving again and so were David and Gillian. Gillian decided to ask for pizzas, not so healthy but it was quite late for the kids and that way she was sure they were going to eat fast and with no complaining. After all it was kind of a special day with David around.

Pizzas didn’t take long to arrive, and kids jumped to get a slice the moment David placed them on the kitchen table.

“Hey guys, waaaaaaait” Gillian said

“Sorry, mum, so hungry” Oscar answered

David laughed at the scene and Gillian rolled her eyes smiling as well.

They ate quite quick, talked a lot about random stuff, mostly the Marvel movie the kids watched at the cinema with Mark and how happy they were to have David over for the night.

“Well, guys, I believe it’s bed time for you both or you won’t wake up for school tomorrow” Gillian said

“Oh, but mom, David is here” Oscar said annoyed

“Come on, mommy, mommy. We want to stay a bit longer.” Felix continued

“No way, shower, teeth, bed” Gillian answered in an authoritarian tone

“Oooooooook” the kids said, not so happy, but probably knowing their mom was right and both kids stood up and run upstairs to do their bed routine, leaving David and Gillian alone in the kitchen.

“Honestly, I’m sorry, I know it’s not the kind of evening you were planning for us” Gillian said looking at David

“Don’t be sorry, I had a really great time”

That made her smile.

She stood up intending to begin cleaning the table but he took her by her wrist and stood up, pulling her to come closer. She smiled and free her hand from his and wrap her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her even closer. They were looking into each other eyes and both smiled

“You are unbelievable” She said

“Why you saying that now?” He asked

"Well, actually, we both are unbelievable" he frowned his eyebrows but she did not answer to that and laughed, making him laugh with her. She stood in her tiptoes and then kissed him on the lips. He did not intend to complain on that.

“Mooooooommy, I need you” they heard Oscar calling for Gillian and they parted

“Great” she said, rolling her eyes

“Don’t worry, go, I’ll tidy up. But hold on to that thought, I guess we need to have a talk anyway”

“I’m sure we do” She said with a half-smile and left him on the kitchen to go attend her kid.

It seemed that Oscar couldn’t find his toothbrush and then Felix also lost his pyjama t-shirt and he didn’t want another one, so mommy needed to go to the rescue. It didn’t take long for her to find Oscar’s toothbrush on his bag, the one he took to Mark’s.

“Seriously, Oscar, you also have a toothbrush at dad’s house, why you keep carrying this one around?”

“Because this is my favourite toothbrush ever” Oscar said, seemingly annoyed

“Oh, well, if you say so… Anyway, I’m gonna help your brother with his t-shirt now” She left Oscar to brush his teeth “Felix, have u found it yet?”

“No, I don’t know where it is and I want it”

“And u can’t use another one, right? Because that is the only t-shirt you have.”

“No, but I want that one” Felix said

“Well, have you had a look on your bag?”

“Yes, it’s not there”

“Ok, let me have a look” Gillian opened his bag and began taking everything out and: surprise, of course it was there “I told the same to Oscar with his toothbrush, you have plenty of pyjamas at dad’s home, there are things you don’t need to carry around

“Ok…”

“Go put on your pyjamas, brush your teeth and then it’s time for bed, come on”

Felix obeyed and changed his cloth and went to brush his teeth. Gillian picked up kids’ bags and left them on the top of the stairs, she would do the laundry tomorrow. Suddenly she smiled when heard a few noises in the kitchen. The domesticity of that day was kind of weird, but also so nice. It’s been a long time since the last time she felt that with someone. Of course Peter was nice and they had, from time to time, dinner with the kids all together or did something together like a family, but could not be the same, she never felt that kind of a family-connection since Mark.

Meanwhile, David was tidying up the kitchen. He felt home, it was her home, but he felt as it was his as well. He had such a great day. For sure it wasn’t the kind of evening he planned for him and Gillian, but it had been really nice to get to spend time with the kids. He loved them and apparently they felt the same way for him. He was almost done when he heard someone coming down the stairs.

It was Felix, already with his pyjama on, “David, are you going to bring us to school tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, buddy, I will see what your mom says, ok?” David said with a big smile on his face

“Ok… I’m so happy you are here”

“I am so happy too. Come on, let me fold the tablecloth and I’ll take you to bed” When he finished, he turned off the light and took Felix by the shoulder and together they went upstairs.

Gillian was talking to Oscar when they got upstairs. David and Felix entered Oscar’s bedroom.

“Hey you two. Felix, get to bed, darling, I’m coming to say goodnight in a minute”

“David, good night!” Oscar said from his bed

“Good night, buddy!!” David answer and Gillian smiled looking at him. Then she kissed goodnight her older boy “Good night, sweetheart”. “Niiiiight, Oscar” Felix added, and then left his brother’s bedroom with Gillian and David.

David waited on the door while Gillian was helping Felix to get into bed and kissing him on the forehead “Good night, sweetie”, Gillian said “Night, mom. Night David!”

“Night, Felix!” David said with a smile

Gillian turned off the light before getting out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her. Then she sighed “it’s impossible to get them tired”. David laughed at her comment. “Come on, let’s chill out a bit”.

They walked to her bedroom. “How do you feel about taking a bath?” He asked “Uhm… that actually sounds great” she answer closing her eyes just thinking about it already.

“Ok, what about you let me get it ready and you just relax?” She smiled in agreement. He took her hand and walked her to her bed “sit down” he said smiling. She obeyed and when she sat he kneel to take off her shoes. He left them next to the bed and went back to his kneeling position. She placed her hands on his shoulders while he unbuttoned her trousers, then she moved her hands to lean on the bed and lift up so he could take off his trousers. He carefully folded them and left them in the floor as well. They weren’t saying anything, but were understanding each other perfectly. He now focused on the hem of her t-shirt and carefully pulled it up, slowly, feeling her skin as he did so. As he did with her trousers, he folded the t-shirt and left it over the trousers. She was only wearing her underwear. He took a deep breath looking at her, she was absolutely perfect to him. She could feel her cheeks blush, as if it was the first time she was naked in front of him.

David lifted up and went to the bathroom and from the hanger behind the door he took her silk dressing gown. He brought it to her and helped her putting it on. “Wait for me, I’m gonna get ready the bath” He said to her, almost whispering and kissing her in the forehead. Her heart was beating quite fast. She shocked her head yes and laid on the bed, with her hands over her belly, thinking about how crazy things were, but how little she cared.

David got into the bathroom, put the plug on the bathtub and turned on the hot water. He looked around and found a few candles that he lighted up with a lighter that was next to them. It was getting hot and quite steamy so he took of his t-shirt.

Before the bathtub was filled, David threw some bubble soap and the bubbles started to appear. Then he turned off the tap and felt the water checking it wasn’t too hot. Bath was ready and candles were on. He turned off the lights before opening the door to go back to Gillian.

“Hey sleepy beauty, your bath is ready” she smiled at his words. She kind of dozed off but woke up quickly seeing shirtless David in front of her.

He tended his hand so she could take it and helped her to stand up. They walked hand in hand to the bathroom. She smiled when she smelled the soft soap smell and saw the gentle light the candles were offering.

She stood in front of the bathtub and intended to take off her dressing gown, but before she could manage to do so, felt him behind her helping her off of it. He was so gentle and let the piece of cloth fell in the floor. He took a step closer to her and with a skilled movement unfasten her bra, also letting it fall down her arms and finally join the dressing gown in the floor.

They weren’t saying a thing. He wrapped his hands around her waist from behind and gently kissed her on the neck. She moved her head so he would have better access to her neck. He felt his erection growing inside her trousers and she also felt it on her back. It was such of an intimate moment. The contact of his bare chest with her bare back, him softly kissing her neck while he gently rubbed her thumbs on the sides of her tummy while hugging her from behind. She closed her eyes to enjoy the moment even more. If the world ended right now she would be happy with it.

Softly, David let go of her and placed his hands on her belly. Gillian, still with her eyes closed, leaned into his bare chest. He kissed her again softly on her neck and introduced her right hand in her panties. She shivered at the contact of his hand with her already wet centre. He began to rub two of his fingers against her clit, so, so slowly that soon Gillian felt it wasn’t enough. “Faster” she whispered. But instead of speeding up his rhythm he took his hand out of her panties “The water is gonna get cold”.

“Oh, come on, you can’t do that to me” she turned around to face him

“Well, save the best for last” he said with a rogue tone

“God, you know I hate you, right?”

“Oh, I absolutely do” he smiled “Come on, let’s take this off and get you in the bath." He then helped her out of her panties while she held into her shoulders and then he took her hand and step into the bath.

The temperature was just perfect and the contact of her body with the hot water felt amazing. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment. He sat next to the bath and stared at her, how she could be so beautiful?

God knows for how long that moment lasted but he decided to break the silence.

“Come here, I’m going to clean you” She smiled at his words. He then took a sponge and wet it with the water. She lifted a bit and sat in the bath. He then began to rub the sponge on her back. Then he moved to her neck and moved to the front of her body, carefully passing it above her breasts. She stared at him while he was doing so. He seemed so concentrated and both of them were really enjoying the moment.

“You are great at doing this” She said

“Don’t mock at me”

“I would never” Gillian said laughing

The sound of her laugh was something so beautiful that he couldn’t help but smile at it. He then left the sponge on the bath and put his hand on her cheek. He smiled again when their looks met “you are the most amazing woman I know” he stopped before continuing and then said “and whatever happens, whatever we say to each other, how many times we fight, how much far away we are from each other, I want you to know that.”

She didn’t need to say anything, but lifted a bit up, put her hand on his cheek and just kissed him.

“You are leaving tomorrow.” She put her forehead against his and closed her eyes

“I am leaving tomorrow”

“What now?”

He moved and break their contact so they could look at each other.

“What about this time we don’t plan it? Yesterday we were talking about a last time, a list night. But I believe we proved, once more, that this doesn’t work for us.” He paused to think before saying anything else “What about a “see you soon”, what about we don’t say goodbye? It won’t ever be forever, it can’t be a goodbye between us and you know that as much as I do.”

“I do. Because I tried, I believe we both did, hard enough to make it through without the other. But you freaking have a magnet for me, or I don’t know the hell is this that you make me feel.” David couldn’t help but smile. “I don’t really want to think about it until I really have to do so tomorrow. But we are going to be fine. No more fights, no more jealousy.” She gave him a quick kiss “I love you, ok? I do, I love you. I-love-you. I know that.”

“God, I love you too” He now kissed her

“We literally have an ocean between us, but I’m in the USA all the time, and you can move your ass from time to time to London. The truth is that we can’t leave our lives, and by lives I mean our kids basically, and I don’t want to leave London anyway and you don’t want to leave the States. But we are going to be fine”

“This time for real, right?” David asked, concerned

“This time for real. No more fights, we are who we are, we love each other, we don’t have to give it a name, we don’t have to spread the news, and even though it feels impossible-“

He didn’t let her finish “It feels possible”

“It is, isn’t it?”

“I’m sure it is… I want to fly and fall with you if you are ready to give me all of you”

“I have always been ready. But together… well, kind of together, either it is physically or in the distance”

“I think we are ready” He smiled, she did too, and then softly kiss.

“I’m getting cold”

“Come here, I will help you out” She stood up and he wrapped her with a towel he left ready before. Gillian then stood out of the bathtub and he hugged her.

“I’m happy we, finally, seem to be in the same page”

“I think we are. I’m happy too”

He helped her to dry and then picked up her clothes from the floor and put them on the dirty laundry basket.

They both walked to her bathroom. He took of his trousers and laid in the bed with only his boxers. She dressed up with a nightgown and laid next to him. They were looking to each other, without touching each other until she reached for his hand and he pulled her closer to him to wrap his arms around her.

“I feel so safe, so me and so complete whenever you are around”

“That happens to me as well” he said kissing her head.

She then made him move so she could manage to put the blanket and sheets over them and got closer to let him hug her again. They didn’t need much more than that and it didn’t take long until they fell asleep.

*****

The 6:30AM alarm woke Gillian up. They barely moved during the night. She couldn’t hear her kids and she was hoping they wouldn’t wake up at least until 7, as they went to bed later than their usual bed time last night.

She felt David moving and she lifted her head to give a peck kiss on his chin. He smiled before opening his eyes. “Hey” he whispered with sleepy voice. David tried to pull her closer to him but instead she moved a bit and that way could get her hand between them and reach between his legs. He shuddered in surprise “Won’t your kids wake up?”

“I think we have good 20 minutes before that” and without letting him say anything else she moved and made him lay on his back and she sat over him. Then she lent down to kiss him with such passion he couldn't resist. She felt his erection growing harder under her. With such urge she moved and took his boxers off of him, he barely had to lift up to help her. Then she took his legs and parted them, before kneeling between them and lent down to grab his dick and after giving it a few strokes start licking it. He wasn’t expecting that at all but he was in heaven. She wasn't being soft, on the contrary, she was going rough, hard and fast.

David was holding hard into the bed sheets and was really close to come “Gillian, Gillian, stop” she didn’t pay much of attention and keep going and he was desperate to hold on. But then she stopped and sit on her heels to take off her nightgown. He finally breathed and intended to sit but she didn’t let him. She pushed him against the bed again and took his dick again on her hand and moved forward to place it on her entrance and with a fast movement he was fully inside of her.

David was close to come and to have a heart attack as well. She began to move, fast, hard. He placed his hands on her waist to help her hold the balance. She was in control. He loved to let her be the one who lead and she loved feeling that power over him. “God Gillian, oh- God”

“Shut up” she answered babbling

He was going crazy “I’m gonna come, you – God – I want you to come with me”

“Shut the fuck up” she was holding herself with her hands on his chest, but then she moved forward to kiss him with such desire, passion and desperation he couldn’t hold it anymore and gloriously came inside of her.

She felt it, he drowned his scream on her mouth and still moved to give a few last strokes. The feeling of him coming inside of her and one of his hands that suddenly she felt come between them touching her clit helped her reach the ecstasy a few seconds after him.

They stood still for a few seconds, probably minutes. She crushed over her body. Their breaths were way too accelerated still.

“Good morning” he finally said

She laughed “good morning to you too” and then sweetly kissed him “I think we better get ready before the kids wake up”

“Yes, probably better” David said, resigned

She tried to move, but before she could do so he took her face and kissed her again “remember that I love you… and after that I do it even more”

“Asshole” she laughed

And they kissed again before she finally stood up from bed and went to take a shower.

*****

It was 7:40 AM when the kids were finishing their breakfast in the kitchen and Gillian was packing their lunch boxes.

“Mom, where’s David?” Asked Oscar

“I think he’s taking a shower, don’t worry, you are going to see him before going to school” Gillian answered

“Can he bring us to school?” Felix now asked

“Yes, please, mom!” Helped Oscar

“I’m not sure David will want to; he probably has things to do”

“What things David has to do?” David appeared in the kitchen “Good morning”

“Hiiii David, good morning, bring us to school!!!!!!!” Oscar begged jumping from his chair and going to hug David

“Uhm, I don’t… know” he said looking at Gillian, concerned

“Yes, pleaseeee, we want to show you our school!” Felix said so excited

“Guys, I think you finished already, take your lunch boxes and go to pack your school bags” said Gillian cutting off kids’ excitment

“Ok, mom, but he’s coming with us”

“Will see” Gillian said

Kids disappeared running, with their lunch boxes in hand, to take their school bags

“Guys, no running in the house” Gillian shouted at them but they didn’t seem to care “For God’s sake”

David laughed “Don’t worry, they are kids and they are excited. Who wouldn’t be having me around?” he laughed again

“Oh, you are such an idiot” Gillian rolled her eyes smiling and then she looked at him “Look, is not that I don’t want you to go with them to the school, but I think it would be a bit weird… you know what I mean.” She paused “You and me, sadly, are not just David and Gillian, we are David and Gillian, the forever-maybe-couple, of the century and you know how protective I am with my kids and… if anyone sees and recognize you bringing them to school, we are screwed”

“I know… it sucks, but is what it is. It’s fine, I can tell them that I’m sorry but I don’t have time” David said smiling

“I’m sorry too, I know how excited they are to have you around and… they adore you”

Kids came back running again “Guys, I said no running”

“Sorry, mom” Both boys answered

“Guys, I’m sorry but I think David can’t make it to school with you today” Gillian said with a soft voice

“Oh, why?” Felix asked annoyed

“I’m sorry, Felix and Oscar, my flight is in a few hours and I really need to get going soon to finish some things”

“Oh… but are you gonna come back soon?” Oscar asked, with a quite sad voice

David looked at Gillian, to find a reassuring look and when he saw her smiling at him he answered “of course, I will. And I hope you visit me some time in the States as well”

“Yes, we will!” Oscar said

Kids said goodbye to David with a big, big hug and asked him again twenty more times at least to come back to visit them. He felt so happy feeling so much love from those kids and Gillian felt the same way seeing their kids around David. Both kids also kissed their mom and hugged her and after a few “be careful on the streets, look before crossing the roads” from their mother they left the house.

“So… do you have any plans for the rest of the day before going to the airport?” Gillian asked

“Well, I was planning on spending it with the most beautiful lady in London”

“Sure…” Gillian laughed “I was meant to meet with Lily, so what do you think if we go to have lunch together before you... go?” She said, feeling how that hurt

“That sounds good to me” he checked his watch “It’s only 8:15AM, we still have a few hours before lunch time”

“Sure we do. Let me text Lily and see where to meet”

“Great”

*****

They spent the morning doing nothing. Cuddling on the sofa, seeing old pictures that Gillian saved in some albums and they even watched some old videos she recorded on set, back when they were filming The X Files. It was really funny to remember all that and to appreciate how much they changed through the years. They barely noticed how fast time passed and around 11:30AM Gillian decided to start moving.

“David, I think we should start getting everything ready to go”

They were meeting Lily at 12:30PM in a restaurant nearby the airport, which was around half an hour away from Gillian’s place. They thought it would give them a bit more of time to spend together and probably won’t be noticed by anybody as they could have been in the middle of London.

“Yes, I think I have mostly everything ready.” He paused and put in a doubtful face “Can you fit inside a suitcase? You are tiny”

Gillian rolled her eyes “You wish”

“Oh, you have no idea how much I’d wish you to come with me” he sweetly smiled

“And you have no idea how much I’d love to stop time and hold in this moment forever. Just you and me. It seems so easy when you are around... and we are not fighting” she smiled "I missed being ok... like really ok with you, with us"

“Hey” they were sat next to each other and he placed his hand on her thigh “Do you remember what you said yesterday?” she nodded with her head “far away, but together” she then smiled again and they tenderly kissed. She wrapped her arms around him and he did the same and melt in the cutest of hugs.

“Come on, we should get going” David said with a soft smile

“I’ll take the car keys, jacket and my bag. Get your suitcase” and she left him on the sofa. She didn’t want to accept he was leaving… again. She at least was ok this time. The last times they had to said goodbye to each other, they were fighting or mad at each other. For once everything seemed to be ok.

He took a deep breath and stood up from the sofa. He was going to miss her terribly. But as she thought, he was ok as well knowing they were fine.

They got their stuffs and before Gillian could open the front door he stopped her.

“I’m not sure we will have more chances to do that when Lily is around… or outside of this walls so…” and before saying anything else he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her tenderly, passionately, telling her with that kiss that he was going to miss her, that he loved her, that she was the one.

When their lips parted, they put their foreheads against each other, closed their eyes and Gillian caressed his cheek with her hand. “Come on, let’s go” she said separating from him and smiling.

*****

They were in the car for around 35 minutes before getting to the restaurant they were meeting Lily. Gillian offered to pick her up somewhere, but she said that preferred to take a cab as she had some stuff to do and didn’t exactly know when was she going to be ready.

The journey was quiet. They barely exchanged any word. Some music was on the radio, but none of them were paying attention to it. Nor Gillian or David knew what to say.

They arrived before Lily and asked for a table and in no time they were sat. The restaurant was pretty empty, and that was quite relaxing for them as they hope nobody would recognize them.

They had a look in the menu and so far they asked for a bottle of water and a bottle of white wine.

“So…” Gillian tried to find something to said

He smiled “I’m nervous, sad and another bunch of feelings, too” David said without letting her saying a thing

“I feel like a teenager”

“We are probably worse than teenagers” David softly laughed

She laughed “No doubt we are”

And on that moment Lily walked through the door with James

“Hello, strangers!” James said happily

“Oh, I didn’t know you were in London as well!” Gillian said smiling and standing up to give him a big hug

“Hey, you two” then Lily said

“Hey, hey guys!” David happily said also standing up to hug Lily and then James

“Lily! I’m sorry I finally couldn’t make it the other day, but I’m so happy to see you” Gillian said before hugging her

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you again too, it’s been such a long time”

After all the greetings they finally sat and in no time a waitress came over to take their order.

*****

They talked about all their next projects, what they have been up to. They laughed quite a lot and they emptied three bottles of white wine.

“We should stop drinking or they won’t let us in the plane” Lily said laughing

“And they will also kick us out from this place” Gillian answered laughing too

James checked his watch “I think we should get going, guys, it’s almost half past three and our flight departs at 5:45PM”

They asked for the check and after a fight about who was going to pay, Gillian won and invited them all saying that they were in London so it was her turn, next time in the States it would go on them. They didn’t seem to be convinced but finally accepted.

Already outside of the restaurant, James said they were going to call for a cab but Gillian insisted on driving them, after all they were only five minutes away from the airport.

The boys were putting Lily and James’ suitcases inside the car’s trunk and Lily and Gillian were talking.

“For how long are you two going to deny it?” Lily asked

“What do you mean?” Gillian widely open her eyes and looked at Lily with incertitude

“Come on, it’s ok. I won’t tell James.”

Gillian didn’t know what to say

“He’s worth it, Gillian, I think you know. And he loves you, one only needs to see how he looks at you.”

“It’s complicated”

“I know it is, but… well, I guess I don’t need to say anything. Don’t lose the one you love.” She smiled at Gillian and then left her to meet the guys in the car.

Gillian waited a few seconds, thinking about Lily’s words, but finally walked after her to get in the car. They needed to catch a flight.

*****

The drive was really short, enough for James to let go a few jokes and made laugh everybody. Gillian stopped the car in front of the nearest entrance to the airport.

“So I think your journey finish here… or begins here, it depends on how we look at it I guess” Gillian said smiling and looking at them.

“I can’t wait to get home, actually” James said

“Me neither” Answered Lily

But David looked at Gillian and didn’t say a word.

They all got out of the car.

James and Lily hugged Gillian and then Lily took James by his arm and start walking. Gillian saw Lily telling something to James when he intended to wait for David, but he finally left.

“So… I guess I will see you… soon” David said

“Is that everything you got to say?” Gillian said lifting her eyebrows

David laughed “Oh, God... Come here” he said wrapping her arms around her and she did the same hugging him back by wrapping her arms around his neck

“I’m going to miss you” David then whispered

“Me too…” she paused and then said a soft “ _I love you_ ”

“Love you too, Gilly”

Finally, they managed to separate. David took his suitcase and waved her goodbye. She stared at him until he pass the doors of the airport.

They were ok. From now on, they were going to be ok.


End file.
